Finally, Wedding Stuff!

music is NSFW

then I PROMISE never to write about it again!

THANK THE LORD IT’S OVER!!

(if you need any of the “pre-show” please click this tag: “wedding“)

Before this, there were two gigantic shopping trips for supplies. I also made aprons for my bridesmaids, the pattern was from this site, Molly’s Sketchbook and they were very easy and stunning! Let’s begin at the week of…

Day One, Monday: was to pick up my amazing and ridiculous maid of honor at the airport. She is from Florida! After showering me with gifts of flamingo related items (I collect flamingos, really, it’s pretty epic) and getting her to my home, I settled her into the guest room. We went to my aunt’s house, my aunt married us. She is ordained and goes by Ordained InterFaith Minster, Priestess. She’s all around amazing. We discussed final plans for the ceremony (here is a picture of some silly/not my style vows) I think we all got entirely too drunk later on in the evening. Aw, shucks. My dear maid of honor also gave me this STUNNING crochet blanket. Fitting as she is the crazy lady who taught me!

wpid-20140706_140916.jpgthis is half of it, it’s huge!

Day Two, Tuesday: We spent the day with my maid of honor’s parents, a little bit of shopping, I got some amazing earrings (more on them in a future post, I’m making a matching necklace), she got a beautiful bracelet, we had lunch, swam in her parents pool and a delightful dinner. We managed not to drink too much. We were good girls. Also I started the preferment for the bread. Which was like, baby heavy. Like, heavy as a baby.

Day Three, Wednesday: COOKIE APOCALYPSE. My girl and I worked hard and made eight dozen cookies. 4 dozen chocolate chip, 4 dozen sugar cookies. The recipe was from the JoyofBaking.com and were absolutely amazing!

wpid-20140625_071409.jpgwhole lotta cookies goin’ on. that lovely betsey johnson purse on the stool was from my now husband. i love her purses!

wpid-20140625_071343.jpgthis is the insanity that was my kitchen…FOUR POUNDS OF BUTTER. WE WENT THROUGH FOUR POUNDS OF BUTTER.

It went rather smoothly, we kind of worked out a system and just kept banging cookies out. Immediately after they cooled, I put them in the freezer. We sampled a few, obviously. That day, after all of that, we had the bridesmaids over for lunch and I gave them their aprons. Unfortunately, I totally forgot to take pictures of them, because, well, I was sort of busy 😉 After that was the rehearsal and the rehearsal dinner. Everything went smoothly and I apparently kept apologizing to the waitress that I was “hosed” as in very drunk. Which, I was, granted. Momma needed to drink to keep from pooping herself!!

Day Four, Thursday: BREAD APOCALYPSE! Oh my baby Jesus. I literally borrowed every bowl and pan I could get my hands on. Every single one. Also I went through every kitchen towel we owned.

wpid-20140624_101755.jpgthis is just the preferments, BEFORE THEY GREW.

It was insane. You see the picture above, of the island in the middle of my kitchen? Imagine that, FILLED with cut up preferments. We did 10 batches of bread, that made about 16 rolls each batch. I did a regular french bread, just yeast, flour, salt and water.

wpid-20140626_111953.jpgI numbered each bowl of dough separately so I knew what order to bake them in. Sometimes I am clever. This isn’t all of them, by the way.

After the first few rolls, my maid of honor got the hang of shaping rolls. I did write about shaping rolls, well actually I was making pitas, but same procedure without the rolling pin. So we did about 160 rolls, which looked something like this:

wpid-20140626_145721.jpgI think we filled three gigantic bags, maybe four. I don’t remember. Those are the JUMBO bags, not the measly regular gallon bags. Also, those bowls are every single person who has a bowl, loaned out to me.

Immediately, they went in the freezer with the cookies. I wanted them to taste as fresh as possible.

Day Five, Friday: Food. Lots and lots of food making. We made a romaine salad, a chickpea salad, and the boys made potato salad(s) and coleslaw(s). The tent went up.

wpid-20140627_121648.jpgtables, chairs, lots of them!

Later on, I got a semi-surprise bachlorette party, I mean I knew everyone was coming over, but I didn’t know they were bringing, um, well you know. Lots of phallic looking gag objects. I got all beaded up and we got rather silly. It was pretty much amazing. I have the best friends. Not to brag or anything.

DAY OF, SATURDAY: I threatened that one of my bridesmaids needed to carry a bucket in case I pooped myself. Also, last minute I realized I forgot to sew a part of my dress, LOL, and pushed that sucker through the sewing machine at high speed. My brother arrived to practice the music, which he wrote. Our bar, apparently a gift from one of the groomsmen, made by himself, arrived. We thought we were just borrowing it!

wpid-20140627_121620.jpgobviously we cleaned up in here before the event. And by “clean up” I mean threw everything in the garage. We covered the pink floyd poster, it was to throw us off the trail.

Everyone arrived pretty early, I was still in a tank top and jeans. Can you tell by the choppy way I am writing this, it’s all kind of a blur? Truly, it was wild toward the end there. So let’s get to the HAND MADE WEDDING DRESS…

wpid-20140628_161412.jpg.jpegin my very messy dressing room.

wpid-2014062895161550.jpg.jpegsorry, it’s blurry, I was freaking pretty much out.

I wore my grandmother, June’s pearl bracelets and ring. Earrings from the husband and necklace as well.

There are a ton more pictures, but I don’t want to post pictures with other people in them, just out of respect for them. Well, ok, one. Only because I got permission. Express permission, as he just told me:

188we’d rather be drinking…

Isn’t he a handsome fellow? TAKEN! 😀

Trust me, it all went flawlessly as I could hope, I did not cry, I did not poop myself and I drank a pile of booze. The plant hoard served as the BEST centerpieces ever, there was a lot of ohhs and ahhs over my beloved hoard. And they were essentially free! Everyone had a great time, there may or may not have been streaking (not by myself!) and in all honestly, it was so much fun, so relaxed I couldn’t have asked for anything better!

I hope you enjoyed all the pre-show, this wild ride! I am personally, very happy and very glad it’s all over so I can get back to crafting stuff! Thanks for reading! I will not be changing my name on here, so I can have some semblance of internet privacy, so it’s still bmaryglaser.wordpress.com!

Advertisements

I’m (sort of) Back!

Well, I’m back to work and busy being a Mrs. My first day as a Mrs involved exploring the fridge for leftovers and wishing I hadn’t drank quite as much! Pictures are coming, as soon as the photographer gets them to me! The wedding went wonderful, the weather was great, the food was great and everyone had a riot! I’m just glad to be able to finally go back to some sort of normal life! I can get back to projects I want to do! 🙂 To hold you over until I have real pictures, here are my rings! More soon, I promise! 🙂

image

See you all in a bit! 🙂

Flower Hoarding

Jumping in, after cleaning the basement, guestroom and planting some flowers! I need a break! I smell terrible. The basement cleaning was like the Running of the Spiders.

I went to the gardening store to grab some “wedding flowers” aka “excuse for buying too many flowers that will come back next year so whateva.” Flower hoarding, you betcha.

wpid-20140620_120119.jpgjust to let you know, i fixed this. all by myself. no more dowel rod/flag thing for me!

I spent entirely way too much money, but hey, they should all come back next year, so let’s check out that haul!

wpid-20140621_110800.jpgcalla lilies, hydrangea, and clematis!

My plan, and I use that term ridiculously loosely, is to use these as decoration, plus my houseplant hoard in the tent and outside. So everybody has to be in a pot, so I can move them around. After the wedding, I plan to plant the hydrangeas in dirt. Like a real plant. Special plans for the clematis too!

After chasing Mr. Humphrey, the chipmunk, out of the garage (REALLY? IS THIS THE WILD KINGDOM HERE?) I got to work.

wpid-20140621_131825.jpgeverybody in a pot!

I’m going to keep them in the shade today, and tomorrow sneak in some full sun. In my opinion, it is generally a good practice after stressing everyone out with replanting to give them a break in the shade. Hopefully, they’ll grow tremendously in seven days, 2 hours and 21 or so odd minutes. Now, about the clematis…

When I was a little girl, my grandmother had a HUGE clematis. Somewhere in the recently acquired pile of pictures in the basement, I have a photo of both my grandparents, Virgil Herbert and June Dorothy standing under a trellis, with the clematis blooming. It’s one of the good pictures, before their health started to decline. I did make a feeble attempt to find it, but alas, it’s still somewhere in that monster pile. Saving that for a winter job.

As I mentioned my fellow plant hoarderess, in this post, I neglected to mention that she had a clematis. Only because I couldn’t freaking remember the name of the plant. So that’s what spurred me. I saw it, beautiful and just like my grandmother’s only much smaller, on her deck. It rang a bunch of nostalgia bells in my head and I knew I had to find one. Her mother bought it for her and the tag was off, so no help there, unfortunately. Google wasn’t much better. I knew they weren’t rare or anything, so I made sure to keep my eyes open today. As you can see, success! Found one! Not the same gorgeous purple as my grandmother’s, but perfectly beautiful and a lovely reminder of her.

Also, there is another reason for such sneakiness. I am stupid independent. My dear wonderful dude I plan to marry in a short period of time is away for the weekend. Now, I had mentioned the clematis, briefly, and was kicking ideas around of where to put it with him. Alas, we have no trellis. So I knew I was going to have to redneck rig something up. Hell, naw, I ain’t paying for a damn trellis to grow weeds on! So, uh, now that it’s planted, he’ll be thrilled with my ambitious red neck rig job. Right?

Redneck Process:

  • Wander yard/house/basement for free stuff.
  • Do not care what it looks like, only if it works.
  • Be prepared to fail, maybe, or succeed ridiculously.
  • Cost, zero dollars.
  • WARNING: Others, who are not rednecks, often do not understand. Only work by yourself or other rednecks.
  • WARNING: Have beer in hand. Important to the thought process.

Firstly, I attempted to line up some tree branches we had cut down. Nope. Then I attempted to use yarn along the fence. Nope. Then I remembered the garden gate, which we had abandoned in favor of putting chicken wire around the whole thing. Ha! That’ll work! Ain’t the prettiest girl at the party, but she’ll work!

wpid-20140621_125405.jpggettin’ all fancy up in here!

I can see it from our living room window and I am very, very happy about it. If it’s deemed too close to the fence or what not, I can take the “trellis” and the plant and move it fairly easily. I’ll probably come up with something better in the future, but this works. Now I have to hose it down, super water it. A must whenever planting.

So I hop over to the hose and suddenly I realize I am being watched. By this abominable creature:

wpid-20140621_123713.jpgu totes can notz c meh.

Ugh. Baby bunnies. Good Lord, they are trouble. Nature mercifully made bunnies so that fear kills them before pain. Which means NO TOUCHING. Guys? NO TOUCHING.

Unfortunately he was directly where I intended to stand and water, the plant is over on the other side of the fence and the hose reached from this vantage. Oh, baby bunnies.

My greyhound found a whole fleet of them in a window well once. After sticking her in the house, I put on some kitchen gloves and very, very gently but quickly, chucked them out. Then the proceeded to hop directly back in. UGHHHHHHHHHHH. So then I got wise, chucked them a wee bit farther and waved my arms about my head like a whacky waving inflatable tube man…

this

…and they all scattered into the bushes. Phew.

And this little guy, wasn’t budging. I assumed if I got close enough, he’d hop off. Nope. Ugh. I poked him with a stick. I didn’t want to be there standing with a hose, freaking him out for like 10 minutes. Nope. No dice. He wasn’t having it. I poked him a bit harder and looked at his eyes to make sure he wasn’t sick. Not sick, just a turd. Eyes clear, butt fat. Okay, then little dude. Don’t freak out. Carefully I threw the hose over the fence, went around the entire house, and watered the clematis. Ugh. I’m sure his momma and his nest are close by, so no worries, guys. He was pretty fat and bright looking.

So, we’ll see how the flowers do! Hopefully they’ll be huge for the wedding! I think I’ve been on break long enough! Back to work with me!

Hello Everyone!

it is impossible to not like this song.

Just stopping in for a quick “Hello!” and some updates! As I am sure you can gather, I’ve been very busy, I am eight days, 7 hours and 8 or so odd minutes from my wedding. Whew! Too too too many things to do! My gal pal from Florida arrives on Monday and from then on it is work, work, work!

Honestly, I really can’t wait to share with you all what I’ve been up to, but right now (a) I don’t have the time and (b) I don’t want to spoil any surprises, should some sneaky wedding guests be reading this blog!

I’m going to try to document as much fun stuff as I can and hopefully share it with you in segments. So, ta ta for now, I will hopefully be writing again in about a week and a half. I will try to sneak some time in to see what stuff you guys have been up to!

Wish me luck and have a wonderful week! 😀

I Saw the Light…

praise the Lord, I saw the light

  • What is the word for sewing when you have to tear out seams that you messed up?
  • I think it’s “unpick”
  • I’ve unpicked the top of my wedding dress
  • Once
  • Twice
  • THREE DAMN TIMES.
  • I’m an idiot.
  • But now I think it’s back under control
  • Straight is the gate and narrow the way
  • I think the chest baskets are done
  • God help me and the creek don’t rise, I’ll have a wedding dress by June 28th.
  • 21 Days, 2 hours and plus or minus 30 minutes…

FACE/DESK

Vienna Bread, Pitas, Trouble Makin’

well done, sir!

Just want to get this out of the way:

My goal from last Monday to this Monday was to not drive my Jeep. SUCCESS! It took a little maneuvering and extra trips, but I only used my bicycle! And I worked a full gazillion hours! Granted, I did carpool for a few trips, but I feel that it’s still a success! I was hoping to use this:

wpid-20140512_091538.jpgwscottling mentioned one of these in her blog…seriously, read that post, it was pretty interesting!!

but I managed okay with a backpack. I just have to make multiple trips. When I have to get dog food or something, I plan to make use of my granny cart! I got it from my uncle, who doesn’t remember where he got it and it’s just awesome. I intended to put streamers and a little horn on it because I have no shame, but I haven’t gotten around to that yet.

wpid-2014-05-12-16.14.03.png.pngthis is proof that i have no shame. my uncle made me do it! yes I had a few adult beverages and it was a ridiculous amount of fun and like years ago.

Today was my day off and I decided to make pitas and Vienna bread. Pitas, as I have noted before, are good any time and Vienna bread makes great sandwich bread. It’s an enriched loaf, which means it has more than just flour, yeast, water and salt. To start, I need a pate fermentee, which is really just a fancy way of saying pre-ferment.  Which is kind of like a flavor boost for bread. Since pitas do not require such fancy fixin’s I started them at the same time. Instead of making whole wheat, like I normally do, I made white pitas. Kind of lame, but not everyone loves whole wheat. And besides, I can make more whole wheat ones for me!

wpid-20140512_082220.jpgIT’S ALIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!

wpid-20140512_083345.jpgpitas, at rest

wpid-20140512_084339.jpgpate fermentee, at rest

wpid-20140222_135645.jpggreyhound and cat, at rest

I am trying to speed up the process. TECHNICALLY, I should have put the pre-ferment in the fridge over night, but I didn’t have that kind of time. So my reasoning was to finish the pitas and then move on to the Vienna bread, giving it time to work it’s yeast magic…stuff…

wpid-20140512_102919.jpgshaped into balls, roll ’em out, stick ’em in the oven.

wpid-20140512_112448.jpgdelicious!!

So waiting on the Vienna bread, I made a grocery list:

wpid-20140512_091432.jpgi am a lefty. watch me use a can opener and weep.

Then I hopped on the bike to the store. I managed to get most of what I needed at the local place and was starting to ride back when I saw another place I hadn’t been to before. I was under the impression that they only sold grains and like real specific things, so I dropped in for a visit. I did need lentils and they’re sort of a grain, right? Well, it was early in the morning and whomever was working there did not seem to be thrilled to see a smelly, sweaty chick raging in on a bicycle screaming about lentils. But she did point me to the lentils and I would have stayed longer to check it out, but, um, she didn’t seem in the mood. Oh well, I’ll try again. I wouldn’t want to deal with me first thing in the morning either. It’s nothing but off color jokes.

NSFW

I got home and put my stuff away and then went out to buy a lining for the wedding dress! I went to a big box store (booooo!) but there isn’t any locally owned place. Too bad I guess, I brought the top part of the dress in a tote bag and off I went. I looked at about every single purple in the store and went with…

drumroll…

drumroll…

wpid-20140512_123213.jpgwell, it’s certainly purple. i got that right.

wpid-20140512_123231.jpgi like it!

There was a darker purple that I liked better, but it was too dark under the crochet. It looked navy. Oh well, I am please! Now I just have to figure out how to do it! Cost of the wedding dress so far is $72. Suck it, David’s Bridal! That might be a joke only weirdos in the Midwest get. I dunno, any of ya’ll got a ridiculously expensive chain outlet that sells over priced wedding dresses and bridesmaids dresses and are fairly useless? One of my friends is getting married in August and I am a bridesmaid and I DON’T EVEN WANT to tell you how much fun (none) going to David’s Bridal was. Anyway!

I got a ton of fabric so hopefully I am free to make mistakes, but I have a pretty concrete plan of “laying the crochet over the fabric and cutting or something like that.”

That’s my story. Sticking to it. On to Vienna bread!

wpid-20140512_153742.jpgGETTING BUSY UP IN HERRE!

As I mentioned, I prefer this in a bread pan to be used as sandwich bread, which means we have to shape it. Here’s how!

wpid-20140512_153933.jpglay the whole thing out and stretch it into a rectangle, sort of.

wpid-20140512_154030.jpgcut it in half and stretch it to be as long as the pan

wpid-20140512_154055.jpgroll it up, pinching it as you roll

wpid-20140512_154203.jpgstretch out the last bit and pinch the seam as well as you can.

wpid-20140512_154322.jpgturn it seam side down and roll it back and forth a bit so the seam calms down. It doesn’t have to be perfect, unless you’re serving the pope or something. that’s your business.

Set it in the pan and wait for it to rise!

Baked up and ready to eat:

wpid-20140512_172745.jpgwe almost ate the pan

The Finale of the Crochet Sweatshop

As I promised on Saturday, the crochet sweatshop is complete! Finally! Now I have 54 days to come up with a lining. Hopefully, I have figured out how to sew decently!

Firstly, I would like to thank:

My dear friend from Florida, who taught me the basics of crochet all those years ago. She’s also my Maid of Honor!

Crochet Today! Magazine, which is where I got the pattern/pattern inspiration. More information on that in a bit.

I would also like to mention, the numerous people who said “it’s too hard” “why don’t you just buy one?” “I could never do that” “why don’t you (enter shortcut of some sort here)”

  • No, it was not too hard. Actually, I breezed through it really. Only minor issues here and there.
  • No, it did not take too long. It took me a little over two months, and I took several weeks off in between. And I did it while watching TV. At one point, I “timed a row” and it was right around the 20 minute mark.
  • No, I will not buy one, this one is hand made and cost (so far) $50
  • No, I am not using a short cut when I am completely able to manage myself
  • Yes, you could do it if you put your mind to it!

So that takes care of that! I had tried it on, but I am not sharing that picture yet! Mostly, because I have simply wrapped myself in it. It’s not fully together, but the grunt work is done. I have not weaved in the ends (only a dozen or so) because I want to sort out the lining before I fully commit the crochet to done. Also, there is a final round on the bottom I have not done because I want to check the length with the lining. So, basically, the dress is just flat fabric now. Nothing sewn up yet.

Without further ado, the crochet sweatshop:

wpid-20140505_075500.jpgbottom rows of the skirt

wpid-20140505_075515.jpgtop of the skirt

wpid-20140505_075607.jpgthe top of the…well, top. boulder holders!

wpid-20140505_075553.jpgmiddle area of the top.

I went with a halter top style for the top. I used a halter top I already owned and liked as a basis for the straps. I just mimicked the cut of the top using decreasing stitches until I got it right. That took about 5 tries to get it right on.

The rest of the dress was from the pattern from Crochet Today! The skirt was fully that pattern, only I made it quite a bit longer, which only required a few repeats. Please keep in mind, I am only 5’1″ so the actual pattern was long on me anyway. The bottom of the top was that same pattern, only shrunken down to the appropriate size, which required a bit of math here and there but all in all, not too difficult.

As I said, I have to come up with a lining, and how the heck I am going to get the thing on (I see zippers in my future…or buttons…oh dear, I’m still pretty new to sewing!) and any other details I might add. I tried the dress on over a cotton skirt and it held up beautifully. I might hand sew the crochet to the lining to give it more of a fitted look, but I am not sure about that. We’ll have to see! I’ve (obviously) never done anything quite like this before, so I am taking my time to get it right and leaving myself “options” in case something goes wrong.

So, I think I covered all my bases! I hope you all enjoyed the sneak peek! Now I am off to contemplate linings while playing in the dirt (got some goodies yesterday, I’ll have another post about all that in a bit, going to play outside first!)

Thank you, everyone for reading! Your kind words and encouragement and your blogs and your goings ons and crafting and making do and in general being awesome people have helped me keep inspired and having fun! Thank you! 😀

xxxbmg

 

 

The Beer Yeast Poolish

If you recall, the wedding beer was quite lively and gaseous.

wpid-20140324_081203.jpgGURGLE GURGLE GURGLE *RASPBERRY*

Loud enough that it startled me several times. In the picture above, you can see a measuring cup with some blow off yeast in it. Well, waste not want not!

I decided to try and make bread out of it.

wpid-20140326_205624.jpgrather unpleasant looking, i’d say

I hunted around the internet for any advice and mostly saw “don’t” and “it makes dense bread”. Well, screw you, INTERNET, you can’t tell me what to do!

I decided to start off with a poolish. If the yeast was lively, it would grow.

wpid-20140326_205921.jpgagain, unpleasant looking

Sure enough, within a few hours we had:

wpid-20140327_101445.jpgIT’S ALIIIIIIVVVVVVVVEEEEE!!

Perplexed with what step to take next, I put the poolish in the fridge for two days while I thought about it.

wpid-20140327_135145.jpgPoolish Day Two: imma gonna eat ur refrigerator…

A dense loaf, like sourdough, was what what the INTERNETZ told me to expect. So I decided to do an italian bread with sugar and to use milk instead of water. Unfortunately, I had to go to work so my lovely fiance was charged with shaping, final proof and baking. I left him with sage tips, such as, “if it turns into a taquilla, call a priest.”

wpid-20140329_093606.jpgi swear, i am not a taquilla! what is wrong with you?

I came home to…

Drumroll…

No, seriously, drumroll…

wpid-20140329_174849.jpgpretty sure that’s bread…

Not too bad for a first time shaping!  I’ve done worse! Seriously. Well done! Now what about the taste? If you recall, the wedding beer has raspberries in it and the yeast did have a slight raspberry smell. So we cut that bad boy open:

wpid-20140331_181809.jpgnot dense. ok, well i (bmary) am dense, but the bread isn’t

The flavor was slightly sweet and very good. It was not dense at all. I think the reason for this was that the yeast used was very fresh and the INTERNETZ was mostly discussing spent yeast, like from the bottom of the a beer after it brews. That I could see being considerably less lively. Regardless, this made very good bread! If you wanted to use spent yeast from a home brew, I would suggest feeding it much like a mother starter until it was fully awake and bubbly.

Screw saving a piece of wedding cake, we’ll save a beer thank you.

Makin’ the Wedding Dress

My yarn came in!

wpid-20140304_165906.jpgoh Red Heart, you cheap, cheap girl

I had to order it as the pattern called for Fine yarn. Which, here go ahead. Get in your car. Drive to as many yarn selling stores as you can. Try to find Fine weight 2. Go ahead…

Actually, don’t. Because you won’t. Or at least I couldn’t find it. I guess worsted (which I think is 4?) is more popular. Or lace (weight 0). That’s about as close as I could get. So I ordered online from Red Heart and paid for 2 day shipping because the wedding isn’t getting any farther away!

I started the skirt portion!

wpid-20140304_195525.jpgdon’t mind the stitch markers. I am terrible at actually counting stitches.

wpid-20140304_210008.jpgand here we are!

I am  cruising right along, the pattern is working up thankfully quick, but I have a lot to go before June. Say a little prayer for me! I am not going to post the finished dress until I actually get married, so ya’ll gonna have to wait!

Have a good day, everyone!

edit 5/5/2014: the crochet portion is complete! you can view it here!