Too Too Too Many Things To Do

I’m cranking away on my To Do List. I’ve got a bit of time, waiting for the garden to be watered so I figured I’d hop on and get you all up to date before I leave at noon today.

Bread,

wpid-20140521_163353.jpgI let them rise on the porch yesterday because it was deliciously warm outside!

wpid-20140521_210245.jpgmy first attempt at making hoagie and sandwich buns. the shaping leaves something to be desired…

I also made pitas and we’re taking what’s left of the vienna loaf up in the RV to the Wiz. So we’re good on bread. I have to get groceries today, which is going to be interesting.  The list of things to get is probably more processed food than I have eaten in years. Not exactly thrilled about that but I am going to try to sneak as much fruit, veg and nuts in as I can. Also, I am going to make cookies! From my brother’s secret recipe. That’s his youtube link. If you want a giggle, check out his music. It’s pretty good, he’s actually writing the music for my wedding. Nevermind his terrible singing. Oh sure, he can sight sing, which is damn impressive, but he has a bad voice. We both do. If you want to watch suicide rates jump, play me some Neil Young and get me drunk enough to sing along.

you don’t want to hear me sing this…

Regardless, the kid is a musical genius. Seriously, bring him to a party and sit him at a piano and LOLZ will abound.

So, wanna see what else I did this morning?

wpid-20140522_080711.jpgmy lazy seedlings

wpid-20140522_080822.jpgwhat survived of the tomatoes…

Since the seedlings were getting better, THANK YOU ILLINOIS FOR FINALLY GETTING YOURSELF UNDER CONTROL, YOU DRUNK, and we’re leaving, I just stuck them in the ground. We’ll see what they’ll do when we get back. I don’t have high hopes, but I didn’t want to just waste them.

wpid-20140522_083036.jpggood luck, my little fellows!

The eyesore berm is finally growing grass,

wpid-20140522_085115.jpgi can not haz eyesore?

The lilac is blooming! That was a major surprise!

wpid-20140522_083542.jpgim pretty from the back. NSFW

The calla lily is going crazy,

wpid-20140522_083510.jpgall the lilies bloomed and blossomed, jilted and they’re withering, i can’t stop them shivering, oh this world is a war. I was there for this video. I cried, not really, but shut up 😉 I am allowed to have a moment, right?

And my pussy willow is looking good!

wpid-20140522_083552.jpghere pussy, pussy, pussy, where can you be? This is safe for work, um, but, um, well it’s technically about a cat, but um, well, um, it’s from the 1930’s and um, well, just listen, ok? you won’t regret it.

And the hops are doing great! I see more beer brewing in out future!

wpid-20140522_083628.jpgI don’t have a weird song for this, surprisingly.

Speaking of beer, the wedding beer is on a second ferment!

wpid-20140522_085308.jpggot nothin’. well, you might like this but it’s a little more obvious. still 1930’s though.

It’s under a towel because light is not good for brewing beer. It’s pretty! And I did have a taste before we put it under wraps, it’s a fruity delicious beer!

Alright, everyone! I’m off to the Wiz! See you when I get back! 😀

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The Beer Yeast Poolish

If you recall, the wedding beer was quite lively and gaseous.

wpid-20140324_081203.jpgGURGLE GURGLE GURGLE *RASPBERRY*

Loud enough that it startled me several times. In the picture above, you can see a measuring cup with some blow off yeast in it. Well, waste not want not!

I decided to try and make bread out of it.

wpid-20140326_205624.jpgrather unpleasant looking, i’d say

I hunted around the internet for any advice and mostly saw “don’t” and “it makes dense bread”. Well, screw you, INTERNET, you can’t tell me what to do!

I decided to start off with a poolish. If the yeast was lively, it would grow.

wpid-20140326_205921.jpgagain, unpleasant looking

Sure enough, within a few hours we had:

wpid-20140327_101445.jpgIT’S ALIIIIIIVVVVVVVVEEEEE!!

Perplexed with what step to take next, I put the poolish in the fridge for two days while I thought about it.

wpid-20140327_135145.jpgPoolish Day Two: imma gonna eat ur refrigerator…

A dense loaf, like sourdough, was what what the INTERNETZ told me to expect. So I decided to do an italian bread with sugar and to use milk instead of water. Unfortunately, I had to go to work so my lovely fiance was charged with shaping, final proof and baking. I left him with sage tips, such as, “if it turns into a taquilla, call a priest.”

wpid-20140329_093606.jpgi swear, i am not a taquilla! what is wrong with you?

I came home to…

Drumroll…

No, seriously, drumroll…

wpid-20140329_174849.jpgpretty sure that’s bread…

Not too bad for a first time shaping!  I’ve done worse! Seriously. Well done! Now what about the taste? If you recall, the wedding beer has raspberries in it and the yeast did have a slight raspberry smell. So we cut that bad boy open:

wpid-20140331_181809.jpgnot dense. ok, well i (bmary) am dense, but the bread isn’t

The flavor was slightly sweet and very good. It was not dense at all. I think the reason for this was that the yeast used was very fresh and the INTERNETZ was mostly discussing spent yeast, like from the bottom of the a beer after it brews. That I could see being considerably less lively. Regardless, this made very good bread! If you wanted to use spent yeast from a home brew, I would suggest feeding it much like a mother starter until it was fully awake and bubbly.

Screw saving a piece of wedding cake, we’ll save a beer thank you.

Seamstresses, Please Help!

Good morning everyone! Today is going to be a busy day for me. I plan to make a poolish with some collected yeast from our wedding beer, the future in-laws are coming over, it’s my only day off and I wanted to make a quick request before I got started on my shenanigans!

I need help. I have a coat, a favorite coat ever and it is older than I am and has seen better days. It was my Grandpa Charles’ jacket and he passed away shortly after I was born. I wear it quite often and it is just starting to really fall apart. It’s, seriously, a very cool coat.

wpid-20140327_084509.jpgit’s a bit of a canadian tuxedo, but I LOVE IT!

Honestly, tell me that is not the coolest coat ever? Ok, maybe love is a little blind, but I adore it. Firstly, it was my Grandpas, secondly, it is so beautifully well worn that it goes with anything.  If I’m going to try not to look like a complete redneck, I wear bright colors with it and a great pair of boots. Besides, my family’s more vaudeville than redneck. Otherwise, it is just honestly such a comfortable and freaking fabulous jacket, I can’t bear to see it fall apart.

So, what should I do? Let me show you the most distressing places:

wpid-20140327_084517.jpgthey don’t work…

The buttons have almost fallen off and the button holes have become so tattered that it honest to goodness does not button. Are patches applicable? Should I darn it? Am I even using the correct words?

wpid-20140327_084524.jpgsleeve one

Could I patch that? Would it be wise? Or should I just stitch it together as best as I can?

wpid-20140327_084534.jpgsleeve two

This one is a mess. Please help? Ideas are welcome!

Those are the place where I am most troubled. The lining is absolutely acceptable and the pockets are fine. There are no holes anywhere else. If you can help, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE comment or send me an email at bmaryglaser@gmail.com and I will be eternally grateful!!!

Thank you! I will be back with more shenanigans!

I’m Back!

With BEER!

wpid-20140324_081203.jpgit’s been farting at me all day

and BAD SELFIES

wpid-1395002560766.jpgcheck out my cabbages!

It’s good to be back! The basement computer has been brought upstairs so I don’t have to hang out with the creepy crawlies in the basement. Not that I mind terribly much, but it’s cold down there because somehow it has not yet warmed up here in Illinois. It’s like a damn tundra around here. There is a swarm of very upset robins outside. There’s at least a dozen in the yard at all times complaining. Also, I think sanity has disappeared around here as well. The “high” today is a whole 36 degrees. Insanity! I don’t know how much more we can take! Last year, it was 80 degrees in early March. Ugh!

Well, I haven’t been up to a whole lot. I’ve continued in the crochet sweatshop and I am almost done with the skirt portion of my wedding dress. About two more rows, then the waistband. After that, I am going to work the same pattern, only smaller, for the top starting at the waist. When I get through with that, I am going to turn that part over and work up to make a halter type top, which I am probably just going to wing. I don’t want my cabbages hanging out. Next, I am going to sew some sort of lining so that the dress isn’t see through. When all of that is said and done, I might add some embellishments here and there, like a bit of ribbon or trim, or whatever strikes my fancy. But I really won’t know until I get a good look at the finished product. I am really excited, it is very pretty. I can’t think of anyone I know that has a handmade wedding dress! Interesting to add, the dress has so far only cost me $50 and I am guessing it will end up around $100.

Also, my lovely fiance started brewing our wedding beer, which we will be using for the toast. He likes making beer and I thought it would be perfect for our completely unconventional wedding. I managed to sneak a few pictures for you. Don’t tell him!

wpid-20140322_110245.jpgI honestly have no idea what this step is about.

wpid-20140322_130411.jpgnope, no idea what’s going on here either, except we have to add hops at certain times.

wpid-20140324_081203.jpggurgle gurgle gurgle gurgle…

THIS BEER IS VERY NOISY!

It sounds like someone ate some very, very bad food. Every few minutes it gurgles loudly at me. It’s actually made me jump once or twice. It smells great though! He used raspberries in it.Now we just have to wait til it ferments.

He also finished the invitations. They took a lot longer than we anticipated. Who knew making your own invitations would take forever! I guess that’s why most people pay someone…gluttons for punishment over here. Basically we bought some very nice paper in earthy colors and he printed them out using a fancy shmancy printer he has at work. Then he had to cut them and glue them together. They look fantastic! I should have taken a picture, but I was pretty excited and forgot. Oh well! Just take my word for it!

Anyway, that’s about it around here. I have a lot of stuff to do before work today and thankfully I am off tomorrow, so maybe I can do something fun! Like make bread! Haven’t had time for that in ages! Poor Francine misses me. Hope you all have a wonderful day and I will chat more tomorrow!