The Jeep Apparently Got Jealous of the Bike and the Sewing Machine

Le sigh.

My Jeep, beloved Jeep, 1996 Cherokee Classic with

wpid-20140314_075851.jpg258,217

miles on it started complaining yesterday.

Brief aside: I saw a commercial bragging that “they had more cars with over 100,000 miles on the road than any other car company” and I laughed so hard I had to go outside, gather more oxygen in a bushel basket and then continue to laugh.

Now, I know I am a girl and I am not supposed to know anything about cars. But I can tell you a few things:

  1. I have had enough Jeep maintenance to usually have a pretty solid clue what is going on
  2. Boys, oh those precious boys, don’t know as much as they pretend to.
  3. My Jeep is old, man!

My Jeep has a name too, it’s name is Low Spark. I name everything because I probably prefer to yell at things by a name rather than as an object. It’s more satisfying to yell, “DON’T WORRY, LOW SPARK, MOMMA GONNA GET YOU SOME GAS, GIRL!” than to just growl at the gas gauge. It’s actually named after this fantastic song:

ANYWAY. So Low Spark was being cranky. I started her up the other day and she was growling and scraping at me. Well, I have had starters go bad precisely twice, so I know what a fun sound that is. But I am a bit puzzled. I SUPPOSEDLY got a new starter about 3 years ago from the World’s Drunkest and Most Sexist Mechanic. I did not go to WDMSM of my own volition, it was out of my hands and let me tell you; a bad time was had by all.

Firstly, it wasn’t the starter going bad. It wasn’t grinding, it was being lazy and starting fine after I sat on it and gave it some gas. I had to have someone drop it off while I was at work and they took it to WDMSM. So I told the WDMSM that it probably wasn’t the starter. He drunkenly (I am pretty freaking confident about the drunk part) told me it was and he had already put it in. Great. Not even three days later, Low Spark is acting a fool again. So I took it to my BELOVED mechanics, who are not SEXIST nor DRUNK and they EXPLAIN FULLY what is wrong, lo and behold, it was the distributor cap. One teensy weensy like $50 later and it was all better. What a jerk. Oh, did I mention WDMSM refused to speak directly at me? Despite the fact that I WAS HOLDING THE CHECKBOOK FOR MY JEEP and I just happened to have a MALE give me a ride. He only talked to the MALE who was not paying. Seriously, I was MAD. But, I digress.

So as I am now in another city, I couldn’t take Low Spark to my Beloved Most Excellent Wonderful Mechanic, but I took her to one of their sister stores. They seem all right, time will tell. They do look me in the eye and take me seriously, so I’ve got that going for me. We’re getting to know each other.

wpid-20140314_080110.jpgthis is how i keep the hatch of the jeep from braining me while i use it. she’s old!

I biked back home, since I hate sitting around at repair shops and would rather be a chatty cathy with you guys. Awaiting their call…

So what else? I finally finished that tunic top redo, which I made much smaller than the original. I think it looks cute! My focus was on straight seams, so I added a few that were not called for in the pattern.

wpid-20140314_082503.jpgworst selfie ever.

wpid-20140314_082907.jpgwait, this might be worse…should I flash an imaginary gang sign or something?? HOW DO YOU TAKE A SELFIE?

Obviously, there are some bits here and there that I can nitpick at all day if I wanted, but overall I am pleased with it.

wpid-20140314_083210.jpgapparently i was drunk taking this photo…BLURRY FRONT!

wpid-20140314_083159.jpgback, must’ve sobered up.

wpid-20140314_083248.jpgmade two rows of stitches for the hem, for practice, not too bad!

wpid-20140314_083320.jpgadded more top stitching to the straps and the band around the top.

wpid-20140314_083121.jpgphotobomb curtsey of the aloe vera plant

So for now I am just hanging out waiting for a call about my Jeep. I might have more misadventures later, but it’s sit around and drink tea and continue in the crochet sweatshop. I am making pretty good progress! I would say I am about a quarter of the way done! Maybe I’ll have a wedding dress by June, otherwise, I am just going to wrap myself in yarn. It’s modern art, people. #yolo #criesatnight #doesnthavemanyfriends

It’s getting weird in here without the Jeep…

Tunic Tantrums

I made a tunic! Whoot!

wpid-20140223_203848.jpgthis is a representation of how annoyed I was by the end of it.

Ok, truth time. I really, really like it. It fits great, it’s adorable, but the pattern and the instructions gave me fits! I did learn a few things, which I am going to share with you guys of course.

wpid-20140223_163313.jpgit did not include a pattern. so i had to cut my own. freestyle!

This set of instructions did not include a pattern, but as it was basically squares and rectangles, I managed all right. I just drew a few lines in the appropriate areas and cut it out. Thankfully, the bust was measured out so I knew, for sure, I was a small. The only sewing tip I ever apparently picked up from my grandmother was MAKE IT TEN SIZES TOO BIG JUST IN CASE. I was able to argue myself out of upping it a size.

wpid-20140223_165425.jpgI need to rename the sewing machine. it’s name is Rachel. No offense to Rachel’s.

The instructions included diagrams, which I found largely unhelpful.

wpid-20140223_170357.jpgyou can tell my skill level by the completely not straight seam.

wpid-20140223_185757.jpg“mom? did the book poop on the rug? is that why you are so mad?”

But I did learn things! Yeah! For one, I learned why there was a paint can opener included in my grandmother’s sewing cabinet.

wpid-20140223_180922.jpgJune Dorothy was way too practical to have put this here for no reason…

wpid-20140223_180844.jpgohhhhhh, that, that just makes too much sense.

wpid-20140223_180907.jpgeasy as pie way to turn things inside right. I knew my instinct to take “anything near the sewing machine” was the best bet.

When I first got the machine, I found a walnut picker thing. I’m sorry, I don’t know exactly what they are called, but I know you use them to pick walnuts out of shells.

wpid-20140223_180939.jpgone of these. ya’ll know it wasn’t there to pick walnuts.

wpid-20140223_180956.jpgBOOM! goes right through the sticker on thread spools.

So that is just fantastic right there. Anyway, more on the Tunic Tantrum…

wpid-20140223_171823.jpgthe back. this is how i really felt.

wpid-20140223_181522.jpgwhy would grandma have a million small weights and a 6″ ruler…oh…oooohhhhhh…

Finally, I stopped taking pictures and got to work. All in all, it took about 5 hours of tantrums, but I finished it! And it looks cute as pie!

wpid-20140223_203848.jpgsorry, angry face. long night.

I would post some close ups on the details, but I really, really did not do that neat of a job. It looks really cute, but if you get up close you can see where I should have hid some stitches there, or sewn a little straighter here. I might go back and fiddle with it, but I AM NOT DETERRED!

wpid-20140224_175035.jpgummm, yeah, I bought two more fabrics for two more tops…

I did forget thread. D’oh!