Choose Your Own Misadventure…

A Mr. Ham, a ham and an idiot. You decide.

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Back to Hooking.

Sorry, I had to use that title. It was one of those kind of things. You can’t crochet without using at least one “hooker” joke per month.

In repentance, look at the story of my life:

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In all honesty, you’re more interesting when you have food.

One of my very good friends is having a hard time right now and my repertoire of responses to that situation is either food or gift related. Having a bad day? You need an entire pie. Or…maybe just a crochet scarf? Will that do? I certainly hope so.

I hopped off to the craft store, on another unrelated mission and stopped by the yarn. I was looking for a hunter green, but I just could not find the right color. I found a very pretty skein for myself, but not what I was looking for. I knew I had some leftover grey from that infamous poncho, so I was hoping that would be all right.

I wanted to do something different and it had to be sort of unisex for this particular person, to match their style. After trying out a few swatches, I went with a front post crochet to create a ribbed texture and worked the scarf along the long edge, rather than keeping the rows short. I think it looks rather smart. Which was the goal, duh.

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 THE DUCK FACES WILL CONTINUE UNTIL I FIGURE OUT HOW TO NOT HAVE RESTING B*TCH FACE.

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I really do like the texture. I think it will look good on my friend.

Having hauled through that while watching Hoarding: Buried Alive which is the replacement for Hoarders WHICH WAS A WAY BETTER SHOW AND GOT TAKEN OVER TO SHOWCASE FAKE REDNECKS. Bunch of wannabes. There is a process for being a redneck. Convenient segue, that post is about hoarding flowers. Ugh. Anyway, while I was binge watching the show I knocked out the scarf in about 3 hours. Give or take time for snacks, of course. Can’t not have snacks. I go to the gym, so I can have snacks.

Now, of course, I am on a roll and itching to start a new project, so I whipped out my new yarn and started a scarf that I modified from another pattern entirely. I’ve made this scarf before, you’ve seen it on myself and on my stinkhound. Actually, I made it for brittlynnstalker, but I like it so much I kept it, then immediately went to the store, bought another of the same skein and made her one. We match. Duuuuh. That’s starting out rather well,

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 I think I am going to make it an infinity scarf this time.

Other than that, I’ve continued to be rather dull. Which is fine by me, I’ve had plenty of excitement for a while, thank you.

Oh, lest I forget, I did have to express Abraham’s anal glands. How fun! I put in a how to for ya. In case you ever need it. Just so you know, I did work at a vet clinic as a cleaning person when I was like 16, but I occasionally got pressed into unpleasant service, so I’ve done it before. Not like I’m not used to butts at this point in my life.

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butt.

Trouble Kitty

Over the last two weeks I have been visiting the local animal shelter looking at kitties. It made me feel better to sit with the cats, who freely roam in rooms and onto laps. I’ve been taking my time and trying to make a good decision…despite the fact that the decision had apparently already been made…

The very first visit I met Trouble Kitty. I walked to the door of Touble Kitty’s room and he bounced right into my lap, purring and cuddling and fussing, like kitties tend to do. I was shy about him, he looks very much like my dear Lucia, who I still miss terribly. So I called him Trouble Kitty (his shelter name was Lewis) and fussed with him and tried other kitties. There are three kitty rooms, older kitties, middle age kitties and kittens.

There was Rush, a handsome older devil who demanded his feet be held while being petted. There was Biggs, who had a beautiful face and a loud purr box. The was Milo, who really, really wanted to cuddle but was brand new and shy to the other kitties. I played and petted them all for hours.

This pattern continued for days, Touble Kitty always demanding that he should purr loudly at me and play and cuddle and honestly, I was drawn to him, but again, he looked so much like Lucia.

Yesterday I went in with the same pattern, older kitties first, middle age kitties next and then the kittens.  Biggs had gone home. His sister Ariel had gone home. Leader, a middle aged cat had decided I was good enough to finally pet him. Rush was mostly interested in guarding the door and belly rubs. Someone was eyeballing Rush and I told them to hold his feet while petting him. I left the woman alone with well wishes to all the kitties and especially Rush and went to see Trouble Kitty and the kittens.

As usual, Trouble Kitty (I refused to call him Lewis, except when he wasn’t being trouble) bounced right over and climbed on my shoulder. Then he did this:

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just zip it closed and we’ll be on our way! 😀 Right?? Right???

Because of course he did. Crap. So I went to the front desk and asked if I could bring in Miss Angie Pants for a three second visit, just to see how he would react to her. Angie LOVES kitties. It broke her heart the first time she met an unfriendly one. They said yes.

Off to gather the Stinkhound! I got her in the car and we bounced into the shelter. Trouble Kitty was mightily surprised to meet an italian greyhound but not terribly upset. Alright, I got the point. Write up the paperwork!

Trouble Kitty came home with Angie and I and after some exploring around, decided Angie was A-OK and then we had a grooming party. That cat has the cleanest ears now. They’ve even played a bit, but no hissing or growling or complaining from anyone.

Trouble Kitty is now Abraham, aka Trouble Kitty. He likes lazer pointers, purring, dog food and windows (aka Cat TV). He poops in his box and makes use of the scratching post. He’s making sure the crochet is comfortable.

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 It’s been a long day for a little kitty.