My Bamboo is Growing…Something…

I replanted a few of the house plant hoard members today, as I had ample time and sunshine. Everybody looks much happier and refreshed! Some of them were quite root bound.

Remember my unlucky bamboo? Well a while ago it grew a new stem. I thought it was a baby plant but um, it’s something…

wpid-20140801_145909.jpgSUPPLIES!

If you zoom in, you can see it is full of seeds! They look like grass seeds, appropriate, because it is a grass.

What in the wide wide world of sports is going on here? (LINK IS NSFW from Blazing Saddles, probably the funniest movie [also NSFW] ever.) I’m not sure. I found a whole lot of nothing about seeds growing online. Hmmm, compelling. Strangely compelling. (NSFW, skip to 4:29 if you’re busy.)

I’ve got baby plants growing in my peace lily, two pups in the aloe vera and, one in what I think is a chinese evergreen. I’m not 100% sure because I took it as a cutting. We’re having a bumper crop of new plants this year! How exciting!

Ok, some SAFE FOR WORK for you for putting up with all that…

Thoughts about Clutter, Playing With Succulents and Stuff

This week has been crazy busy! Vacation, then work, work, work, then helping my friend move and then work and now, finally, I can get something that interests me done.

One of my friends’ moved to a smaller town about 10 miles away. It stinks because we were basically neighbors and could shout fart jokes and NSA watch list keywords to each other. Like any good American. But, alas, he moved to a new place and we helped him get packed and what not. While admiring his pile of worldly processions strewn on the ground, I came to the conclusion that I seriously need to declutter my space. When I moved in with that dude I’ll be married to in 27 days and 5 hours plus or minus a few minutes we basically were two households combining. I had a full apartment of kitchen, bath, bed and living room gear as well as his. I have always thought of myself as “move ready” such as most of my clutter (pictures, memorabilia, stuff like that) is stored in boxes and labeled. I just keep dragging them around with me. I am pretty good about keeping my things organized and away, but despite not buying anything since I moved in (except a small table at a thrift store and a few odds and ends from the same store) I still feel like I have too much stuff. I need to either display my pictures or par them down. Just this year, my grandmother’s house sold and I grabbed a bunch of odds and ends from there. It was packed to the gills, let me tell you. Just stuffed. She’d been living there for decades and was a bit of a pack rat. Organized, but man, mountains of stuff. I got some great bowls, plates, odds and ends and, my God, a full jeep hatch worth of photos. No lie. Seats down and everything. Full. Those have to be dealt with.

Since I moved in, I’ve tried to work some things around, but my decorating skills include: do nothing, suddeninspirationgetitdonenow. It’s been almost 2 years now, I really need to get on it. I’m thinking this winter, when it gets cold (who wants to play inside in the summer?) I am going to go through every inch of the house and par things down. From the bedrooms, to my closet, to the basement. Sell it, thrift it, give it away. We want to start storing food in case of emergency, or ay least have a system down. We’ll have more room for beer brewing, soap making (SOON WE ARE MAKING WEDDING SOAP, I PROMISE I WILL DO A BIG POST, REALLY, I’VE MEANT TO DO THAT FOR A WHILE WE JUST ARE TWO PEOPLE WE DON’T MAKE THAT MUCH SOAP) and really get our house organized. I am a wizard at organizing, or at least I was when I was by myself. My cupboards and under my cabinets were “faced” and I had “kits” that I set up for specific tasks, like a dog/cat grooming supplies, laundry supplies, cleaning supplies all organized in bins, labeled and put away. I could tell you verbally without looking where any single item was. Now that our households have combined, it’s been daunting to try and get two houses’ worth of stuff into one organized system. So, pray for me! 😉 Coming this winter! Hopefully I will have some tips for you guys as well, my first tip is: save your shoeboxes and other decent sized boxes. They’re essentially free and work just as well as plastic bins. Plus you can knock them down flat and store them easily.

My friend who moved lived with a roommate, who is a very nice girl and just getting into the dreaded plant hoarding. She’s get herself a decent garden and even a few plants I am jealous of. I gave her one of my baby spider plants and now it’s like 17 spider plants and might have eaten the couch. I talked to her a bit today regarding aloe vera plant issues she was having and hopefully she’ll be all sorted in no time. This inspired me to clean up my plant hoard a bit! Many of my succulents have a few years on their pots and have started to get quite impressive. Some have been turds. Looking at you, sedeveria fanfare. Ya jerk. I took the turd ones and clipped them down until they are just babies again and took a few clippings from my more successful succulents and combined them into one pot. What ever decides to live, wins.

wpid-20140601_104947.jpgclockwise, the turd fanfare, mystery weird plant that used to look like a flower, senecio radican, rhipsalis cassutha, the vaguely labeled “crassula species” and sedum “coral reef”

It’d be great if they’d all grow together to be a glorious display of succulents, but this is seriously the last chance for the turd succulents. I’m not asking them to look perfect, but looking for less Pink Flamingos and more To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything. Ya know, crazy is okay, but not crazzzzzzzzzzzzzzy.

My Formerly Unlucky Now Lucky Bamboo is doing splendid!

wpid-20140601_105623.jpgwe’re like, uh, Wesley Snipes in a dress? Sure…Whatever, lady.

There is still the little rogue in there, I am confident that it is a baby bamboo, very exciting! And my herb bed is finally growing things. There’s some rogue flowers in there, which I am going to leave. I guess I can pick herbs around a few flowers.

wpid-20140601_105022.jpgthe big white spot in the middle is a flower, I didn’t get a close up

wpid-20140601_105030.jpgdill and LOTS OF WEEDS

wpid-20140601_105039.jpgcilantro and LOTS OF WEEDS

I need to weed, badly, but until I know what is what, I am afraid to do it. I guess it will have to wait. Hopefully not too long, I’ve gotta have this place beautiful (or at least tolerable) in 27 days, 4 hours and plus or minus a few minutes.

On that note, I better finish making my wedding dress

Unlucky Bamboo

Poor lucky bamboo. Poor, poor, poor thing. What have we done to you? We have shaped you into ridiculous forms and ruined your perfectly lovely natural self. We have left you in putrid water, with stones and not a single bit of soil. Not a teaspoon. We have cut off your stalks, forced them to grow into curls and then waxed the ends to stop you from growing. You’re very unlucky.

And, one just fell in my lap.

wpid-20140212_072337.jpgoh, joy.

Now, mind you, it was in a hideously filthy jar with rocks (of course!) and, I kid you not, florist moss. A big heap of stinking florist moss. Gross. Immediately I moved him to this small pot with dirt. Ya know, plants tend to grow in dirt.

Ugh…what am I, the plant whisperer?

I already have a lucky bamboo that I took as a cutting and have been enjoying watching it grow. In dirt. In a pot.

wpid-20140215_132514.jpgLOOK I AM A REAL PLANT!

And now I have a bunch more. Well, the curly-cue at the top there just isn’t going to happen. We’re going to give him a hell of a hair cut and see if we can salvage something here.

wpid-20140215_132644.jpgclean scissors and a festive mug- tools of plant propigating

Let’s just all look at him again.

wpid-20140215_132350.jpguggggggghhhhh

Okay, back to business, clean scissors, clean mug and let’s get trimming. We’re losing the stalks. Forget them, gross and tacky.

wpid-20140215_132713.jpgthis is where we’ll be cutting

Lop off some ends, trim some not so pretty leaves and presto!

wpid-20140215_132931.jpgwell at least somebody cared enough to root…

One of my unluckies had roots on him, so I left him mostly alone. But I did peel off some gross leaves. Now to artfully arrange then in the mug…

wpid-20140215_133100.jpgthis coffee is terrible. who the hell is the cook?

And a heaping helping of sunshine and water:

wpid-20140215_133119.jpgi can hear them screaming their gratitude

Literally the SECOND they have roots, I am going to plant them in dirt. I even have a pot waiting. I am going to move my other bamboo in with them, so they’ll all be stuck together to be real plants! How fun! I am actually interested to see what it looks like as a “real plant.” I mean, I hate the stalky fake looking stuff, but the leaves are grassy and nice. If it grows a stalk with a head of grassy leaves on it, well that would be just fine with me. Unless it starts to braid itself…