Keep Fish: How To Clean A Fishtank

Hello everyone! As promised, I am going to start writing about fishtank care! I only deal with FRESH WATER tanks. Just so you know.

I decided to start with the most dreaded and over-worried about part of keeping a fish tank. Cleaning it. I figure, if you’re interested in keeping fish, maintenance is the scariest part. My credentials:

  • Over ten years of fish keeping
  • 5 years professionally at a store
  • My fish breed, a lot

I’ve had fish since I was 16, my uncle bought me my first tank and I still have it, locked and loaded today. I worked at a fabulous pet store that had an amazing array of fish for 5 years, and learned just about everything I could. Also, I have insight on common mistakes, simple errors and common complaints. I am going to debunk as many as I can! Starting with:

Cleaning A Fish Tank Is Hard

Absolutely not! If I had a dollar for every person that over-worried their tank, man, I would be loaded. Seems to me that every tank I run into suffers from Over Mothering. Here’s a tip: Less is better. Let’s talk about the main requirements for keeping a clean tank:

  • Change 25% of the tank’s water via a gravel vacuum, once a month
  • Change filter cartridge , once a month (preferably not the same day you clean, more on that later)
  • Scrape off algea
  • Do NOT overfeed

That, my friends, is it. In a nutshell, that is all you have to do to keep a clean tank. Now, why do people have problems with this? Well, I can tell you that 99.99999% of the time the following conversations would happen at the pet store:

Customer: “My fish tank is cloudy.”

Me: “When did you change the water?”

C: “Yesterday.”

M: “How much did you take out?”

C: “Well, it was cloudy, so I took out (enter ridiculous percent or all here).”


Customer: “My fish tank is cloudy and I just started it yesterday, should I do a water change?”

Me: “Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!”

Do you see a correlation there? Cloudy water DOES NOT equal immediate water change. And this is why, in very basic terms. Fish make poop. There is a bacteria that eats their poop. When you drop new fish into a tank, or remove a lot of the existing bacteria (example: extreme water change) the bacteria reproduces like mad to eat the sudden abundance of food/poop. The water turns a cloudy white, due to this.ย  Here is a link that very nicely sums it up. I couldn’t say it better myself. So, you start a fish tank, you change the water too much/often, you fall into a vicious cycle of WHY IS MY TANK ALWAYS CLOUDY?

So, heed my words:

I don’t care how cloudy your tank is. Only remove 25% at a time.

In fact, if it’s cloudy, I wouldn’t change it at all. Wait for the bacteria levels to even themselves out. The water will clear. Wait a whole month after that.

Now that you all understand that, let’s move on to how to go about this cleaning business. You’ll need things.

wpid-20140611_165537.jpggravel vacuum/siphon, sponge/scraper for algae, big bucket, water conditioner, aquarium salt (optional and much argued), towel

Gravel Vacuum/Siphon: The whole point of cleaning a fish tank is to get out the dirty water. The dirtiest water is hiding in the gravel. The vacuum works by sucking out that water and leaving the gravel behind.

Sponge/Scraper: Scrub off that algae! Algae is a good sign, it means your tank can support life. Yey! However, unsightly. Scrub when you clean the tank. If you have a lot of algae, leave the light on for less hours or reduce the amount of food you feed your fish.

Big Bucket: For holding dirty water/replacing water

Water Conditioner: This removes the chlorine from tap water. It is not negotiable. Chlorine will kill your fish. Also, fish are covered in a “slime coat” which protects them. When stressed, they will drop their “slime coat” and this can lead to definite problems. Often, a water conditioner will have something in it for that. Don’t buy a specific product just for that, buy one that has both.

Aquarium Salt: I’ve seen it argued either way. My personal vote isย  to have it as a remedy for diseases and to put about a teaspoon in when I change the water. I don’t even do that every time, just occasionally. I used it once to cure ich, a common problem and it worked so fast and so efficient I decided I was sold on salt in the aquarium. We never had ich at the petstore, and we regularly salted the aquariums. Also note: Salt does not evaporate out, so only add when you take out water.

Towel: To keep your arm from dripping all over, really? ๐Ÿ˜‰

START TIME: 06/11/14 5:00 pm

wpid-20140611_165525.jpgbefore: we’re filthy!

Wash your hands and arms, up to your pits, please. Your whole arm is going to be in that tank. Well, you’re probably taller than me, so maybe not. Wash anyway.

Next step is to turn the aquarium off. All the lights, everything. Unplug, the cords can hang, and as they are usually in the back of the tank, they shouldn’t get wet. Unplug anyway.

wpid-20140611_165753.jpgthey’re really mad now!

Remove all decor and place into the bucket, as you don’t want it to drip on your floor. I put the heavy stuff in the bottom and the fake plants on top. Why?…glad you asked!

Put the fake plants in a sink with screaming hot water. Put the heavier objects on top to keep them under the water.

wpid-20140611_170124.jpgtoo hot for algae

This step will kill any algae on the rocks or plants. Clever, eh? You could use bleach, but please don’t, ok? Just hot water, it totally works.

Next, get the siphon going. Mine attaches nicely to the bucket.

wpid-20140611_170214.jpgi could kiss the feet of whomever invented this

You have to prime the siphon to get it to work. The bucket needs to be lower than the siphon for this to work. Put the siphon in the tank, fill with water, let drain half way, then back into the tank. And then the siphon will siphon. More info here.

wpid-20140611_170226.jpghalf way empty, put back in tank!

Start at one corner of the tank, put the siphon directly into the gravel, watch the poop get sucked into the bucket, move to the next patch, repeat until you have removed 25% of the water.

wpid-20140611_170344.jpgstraight into the gravel, like so. pretend I turned off the light on my tank, m’kay?

Next, dump the waste water either into your plants, or the toilet or if your fish breed and you are insane, into a tub to dig out baby fish. You probably won’t have babies, but FYI there. If you see “poop that swims down rapidly” in your siphon, it might be a baby. Hey, at least you’ll never have to ever buy fish again?

Replace plants and decor.

Fill your bucket with tepid water. Not too hot, not too cold please.

Add water conditioner and salt (optional) to the bucket. Follow instructions on package.

Dump into tank, carefully.

Repeat for larger tanks. Mine is only 20 gallons and I only remove 5 gallons at a time, hence the five gallon bucket. Works out beautifully.

Wipe down tank, front and sides to remove water droplets. You wouldn’t dare you a glass cleaner, right? Just the towel.

Inspect electrical before plugging back in.


Now, it looks a bit cloudy because there is a lot of particulate that is floating around. My filter will grab it or it will settle within the hour.

Wash your hands up to the arm pits please!

END TIME 06/11/14 5:32 PM

Please remember I was dancing around and taking pictures! Normally, it’s a twenty minute job!

I hope this at least makes the idea of fish keeping less daunting. So many people are put off by this once a month chore, that it is a real downer. Or they over do it. You can skip taking all the decor out if it’s a busy month. Then you’re looking at 10 minutes, easy. Please note: I did not change out my filter today. I will discuss that later! Hope you enjoyed! ๐Ÿ˜€

Homemade Laundry Soap

Finally, I got around to making laundry soap! I’ve been meaning to for ages. Literally, like a year or two. Last week my coworker sent me a recipe she used. It was the push I needed.

Not that I don’t trust the internet, but seriously, this person exists and killed her own mother with her quackery. I mean, it’s your body, you do what you want, but good God. This woman makes me ill. If you want to be sickened more, read some of the comments from desperately sick people that need a doctor and not coffee enemas. Anyway, that was my little rant.

I kind of tread lightly when it comes to internet tips. The lovely wscottling from Willow’s Corner sent me a link as well and said she also uses it (see the comments)

So, on to the point, how did it go?

Well, I using the recipe from my coworker which matches Jillee’s post on One Good Thing (curtsey of wscottling) and I checked out a few other sites and found basically the same recipe. So I think I’m pretty safe here.

Gathering the supplies was a bit of a chore. I had to get a bucket with a lid (sorry, not fancy enough for a gigantic glass jar) and things that are, well let’s face it, uncommon.


I had to go to three stores to collect everything, but I succeeded! I refuse to go to that “w” store, by the way. Ya’ll know what I am talking about. I’d rather an extra trip. I also choose to omit the scent Purex crystals, because I can add it later and I want to at least see what this smells like first. I am not a fan of overly scenting everything.

Of course, let me line it all up for you and take a photo. That’s what the cool kids do, anyway.

wpid-20140421_111647.jpglaundry #selfie

We Have:

  1. Five Gallon Bucket With Lid
  2. Grater (for soap only)
  3. 4# of Baking Soda
  4. 4# Borax
  5. 3# Super Washing Soda
  6. 1.3# OxyClean
  7. 3 Bars Ivory Soap

And that’s that. I grated the soap and timed how long it took. It was 3 minutes. It would take me way longer to pull out the food processor and clean it that it did to grate soap. So, cool it there guys, it’s not too bad. The whole thing was done in 10 minutes. And that includes me dancing around and taking pictures and generally being a nuisance.

wpid-20140421_112309.jpgseriously, 3 minutes. a minute per bar.

I puzzled out how to mix it and ended up adding a third at a time and then stirring it.

wpid-20140421_112827.jpgthe oxiclean came with a scoop, yay!

That’s what I ended up with. I could’ve used a smaller bucket, I suppose. Whatever. The whole kit and caboodle cost me around $25-30 to make, including the bucket, lid and grater.

Let’s find something STINKY!!!

wpid-20140218_083349.jpga greyhound! how perfect!

No, I am not going to put the greyhound into the washing machine. However, she does have what we fondly refer to as her “stinkfort.” It’s a blanket we shoved under the bed for her to sleep in.ย  Which she does constantly. I mean, I think she’s awake for like 3 hours a day. I went in with a haz-mat suit and chased her out of her stinkfort.

wpid-20140421_112859.jpgtrust me, it smells.

It’s in the wash with a scoop of the stuff, so we’re going to see how it turns out! They say it lasts a year, so we shall see what happens!