No Poo Number Three “Sebum Only”

Sorry I’ve been away for a bit. Nothing interesting happened and I was busy playing with trouble kitty and working. I did managed to have a lot of fun. Fall is awesome this year, the weather is great! I haven’t had a desire to be inside. I’ll post some photos at the bottom of this, just for fun.

I’ve never been a big fan of rules. I’m a libertarian, after all. Why did the chicken cross the road? NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS AND AM I BEING DETAINED?

wpid-2014-10-12-19.48.25.png.pngproof that I was being an idiot with a foam finger long before miley cyrus was out of diapers!

As you may recall, I have been no poo for some time and was to the point where I was only using water to “wash” my hair. That was all fine and dandy until I became aware that my hair was kind of dry on the ends. At first, I thought a good haircut would do the trick, I used to wear my hair up all the time and thought that I had a lot of breakage from that. I’ll be honest, genetically, I have terrible hair. Thin and wispy. My mother couldn’t get hers past her shoulders. The fact that I even can mange moderately long hair is a miracle. It used to be a lot worse until I went no poo.

I got my hair cut, professionally. This was a big step for me as I am very leery of hairdressers. I’ve gotten a mommy mullet cut when I was entirely too young for such a terrible hair cut, so I have my reasons. Obviously, mommy mullet was not my intended hair cut. I have legitimately never had a good experience with a professional cut, style or color.  Anyway, the woman there did a great job. She actually just simply did what I asked her. How novel.

After that, it was still dry. Okay, fine. I dumped a bit of coconut oil on it and brushed, brushed, brushed. That helped phenomenally. Then I came across the “sebum only” concept. I paid it very little mind until I read that too much water can make your hair dry. Cue light bulb over my head.

Okay, then, let’s give it a swing. For a week I did not get my hair wet. I showered (I’m not completely disgusting) and avoided getting my hair wet. I kept it in braids, because after 4 days, I was getting pretty greasy. No one noticed. Day 8 I decided I was sick of putting my hair up so I took a nice tub soak and scrubbed my scalp. When dry, it actually looked much better, believe it or not. My ends looked much more moisturized. So now, three days since that bath, this is my hair:

wpid-20141017_104008.jpgI would call this a good hair day!

My head does smell a bit mustier than usual, but not terrible, I’m still getting the swing of this. The ends are a lot better. I am going to try to go a week and a half without wetting it. Baby steps. Also I am brushing like a madwoman and am going to ramp up how often I clean my brushes. Wish me luck!

As promised, here are some photos of my recent adventures:

 wpid-20141016_110528.jpgtrouble kitty is watching you make stool

wpid-20141010_165821.jpgour backyard red maple

 wpid-20141007_103808.jpgstarted some granny squares for a hoodie, inspired by this post.

 wpid-20141005_141003.jpganother road trip scarf for a friend

wpid-20141005_140519.jpgangie and abraham are getting along

 wpid-20140927_112558.jpgthe baby fish are getting big!! there’s four

wpid-20140930_180951.jpgstunning view i thought

wpid-20141001_075736.jpgour red maple again. such a beautiful tree.

Ok, that’s it for now! I have to go pick up a kombacha scoby for a friend. I got a lead on it and my friend wants one, so I’m off! Have a great day and I’ll be back to check on you all in a little bit!

The First Step: Java Moss

When I lived by myself, I had two enormous black couches. One was black velvet and I had found it on the side of the road. A leg was broken off, but it was nothing some boards couldn’t fix. My other one was a pull out bed that had to be 50 years old. Huge, heavy and very tired. When my then fiance and now husband and I decided to move in together, the couches had to go. Unfortunately he had to work that day, so I had to call…my brother…

 wpid-2014-08-05-08.11.50.png.pngthe dream team up in here…

After begging, threats, insults and swear words, I finally convinced him. Well, I promised to make coffee. That worked. Now, whenever more than one Glaser is in a room, it turns into a “who can make the other person pee themselves laughing first?” competition. Have you tried carrying heavy objects while laughing hysterically? Moving furniture with my brother was obviously a terrible idea.  Also, the door layout of my apartment was a terrible idea. When the front door to the building was open, it blocked my apartment’s front door and the only way around this was dragging the couches up a half flight of stairs and shoving them back down. You can see why my brother was not terribly keen on this. When the logistics of this long fart of an adventure were figured out, we both started right in. Insults, a rainbow of curses, self depreciating jokes, threats, lamentations. We were both actually working together and almost done when…the couch wouldn’t fit through building door.

Did I mention it was really hot that day? My brother was half way up the stairs, I was fussing it out the door.

We threw our arms in the air, begged God for sweet death, cursed the couch, the door, the apartment, the stairs, each other.

And then I told him a new plan (turn the couch the other direction) and I laid it out to him.

“What do you think of the plan? Should we try it?”

He looked me dead in the eye and said “Well, the first step to failure is trying.”

I lost it. I howled for about 10 minutes and finally regained my composure, told that couch to GTFO and moved on with life.

wpid-20140804_172426.jpga few feet to the left and we would’ve gotten a new fence for free. WAY TO FAIL, TREE. WAY TO FAIL.

The phrase has have several different variations throughout the years, but at the core, it’s the same. Doesn’t matter how smart, clever, awesome, pretty, nice, whatever you are. You can’t fail if you don’t try. With that in mind, I always have a Plan A and a Plan Spectacular Failure of Plan A.

JAVA MOSS

Plan A:

  • Insert java moss into tank.
  • Observe what happens.
  • Go from there

Plan Spectacular Failure of Plan A:

  • Set aside a clump of moss in a glass vessel
  • Leave in a sunny location.
  • Observe what happens.
  • Should Plan A turn into a the southbound end of a northbound cat, there will still be java moss to use when I get the problem sussed out.

wpid-20140804_123639.jpgjava moss hanging out at the factory

My darling husband purchased the moss for me and had the package sent to work. When it arrived I immediately thanked him profusely and got the moss into water. He told my I was easy to please. Well, he happens to be right. Buy me something green that grows and I’m pretty pleased. If we were all the same and had the same interests, we’d all be pretty boring.

I got home and followed my plan(s)

wpid-20140804_170842.jpgPlan A, with fish photobomb

wpid-20140804_170949.jpgPlan Spectacular Failure of Plan A, in a Big A** Beer Glass

And now we wait to see how much failure java moss I manage to accrue!

In The Wiz

Finally I have recovered from vacation, being immediately thrown back into work, 500 loads of laundry and whatever other fires I have been trying to put out! I need a vacation after my vacation!

We went to Oxford, Wisconsin which is the absolute middle of no where. The entire town consists of a hardware store and a dollar store. Unfortunately, I don’t think the economy has been kind to them. You’ve heard of food deserts, right? Imagine your closest grocery store (and frankly, I didn’t see any other on the way there or around) is a freaking dollar store. That’s just what I observed and I hope I’m wrong, but man, it looked bleak. We brought food supplies from home and headed to a campground several miles from the whole 607 people that live in Oxford.

I immediately put on my vacation game face.

wpid-20140522_132837.jpgI knew we were out of Illinois when I stopped feeling a constant tug on my wallet.

It took about 4 hours to get there and the camp is just beautiful. Huge oak trees, a beautiful lake. It’s a bit crowded, I will say, there are a lot of people who leave their RVs there and use them as vacation homes. You don’t have to go far, however, to find yourself in the middle of nowhere.

Step one was to set up the RV, which the future in-laws loaned to us. Nothing too difficult.

uncle eddie sums it up.

wpid-20140522_175154.jpgTHAT THERE’S AN RV

wpid-20140522_174958.jpga wee kitchen and bed.

wpid-20140522_175006.jpgit even has a shower…for storage…who has time to shower on vacation?!?

And then it was a whole weekend of sleeping, fishing, eating, drinking and having a great time! We actually met a professional bass fisherman, which was pretty amazing. I didn’t know that could be a profession! He was full of great information and I managed to learn something!

Onto our wee little boat!

wpid-20140526_172449.jpgit’s name is the CIA Waterboarding…too much? too soon?

The boat was phenomenal. Light weight, comfortable to sit in, great to fish in. It was definitely a good investment. There are some lakes around where we live that we can use it on as well.

wpid-20140525_095826.jpgPUT YOUR FISHING GAME FACE ON!

wpid-20140525_095722.jpgomg, trees

wpid-20140523_140549.jpgthere’s also a little swimming area

wpid-20140523_140545.jpgi miss it already!

wpid-20140525_095802.jpgstunning!

I did not bring my phone on the boat so I don’t have a ton of pictures of the fish I managed to reel in. It’s pretty exciting to be reeling them in and then there’s the hustle and bustle to either get them in the live well or get them back in the water. Warning: We did eat a few. They were very tasty and mercifully dispatched. I even learned how to do it. I figured it was a good skill to have and it’s not very hard to do. I caught a couple bass, bluegills and sunfish. I did fish on the pier a bit, so I got pictures of them.

wpid-resizedimage_1401236691182.jpgi was pretty excited

wpid-resizedimage_1401236626763.jpgthis is a bass, i’m even wearing the bass hat our friend gave me! and of course the ancient aliens shirt. also, a picture of my future dude i’ll be married to in less than a month’s thumb. Also, please note that I can wear a hat properly.

I took some more scenery shots,

wpid-20140523_140554.jpgdown by the lake

wpid-20140526_145249.jpgview outside our window on the one day it stormed

wpid-20140526_200831.jpgwhere the poop goes out of the RV

wpid-20140526_165335.jpgblack squirrel

wpid-20140526_200621.jpgin my natural habitat.

wpid-20140526_172412.jpgmy fishing gear

wpid-20140526_155318.jpgwe made friends?

wpid-20140523_142139.jpgrocks, why wouldn’t i take pictures of rocks?

All in all, we had an absolutely amazing time! I miss it already, back to work, back to the grind and back to wedding stuff! It’s less than a month away! God help me! I can’t wait til it’s over! 😀

Trying to Make Sense from Nonsense in the Garden

Yesterday was a very, very busy day for us. Finally, it’s sort of maybe turning into spring. Well, actually I think we’re going to ram, back end first, straight into summer. Welcome to Illinois. Our weather is terrible. Regardless, we had to do a lot in one day. I wanted my herb bed done, we had to gather some Mother’s Day stuff. I got my aunt a fuchsia and my future mother in law a calla lily as I am obsessed with both right now.

First thing in the morning I went out to start working. I am an early riser and possibly insane. The garden looks just charming:

wpid-20140510_073137.jpgswell.

And my hopefully-soon-to-be-herb-bed looked, um, a lot like crabgrass

wpid-20140510_073113.jpgcrab people, crab people

How fun! So I started off with forking over the garden so it could be tilled. That took a good hour or so. Then I moved over to the herb bed. We also tore down the old chicken wire fence, to be replaced when we plant, hopefully on Monday.

wpid-20140511_065641.jpgi found some dirt, you guys.

wpid-20140511_065551.jpggrow, dammit!

Beer was clearly in order after that. I did make pizza dough, which I am not really good at. I don’t know why pizza dough eludes me, but I rarely make it and I really don’t love pizza that much. But the future mother in law loves it so I got it ready to make her homemade pizza today.

I did finally get a picture of the maple tree, with the rocks around it.

wpid-20140511_065559.jpgthanks for getting rid of the plastic!

The trees are finally starting to grow some leaves! This winter was just awful.

wpid-20140511_065727.jpgcrab apple, crab apple

With any luck, the pizza will turn out, the future mother in law will be pleased, my aunt will be pleased, the garden will grow, the herb bed will grow, the former berm will grow grass,  and we’ll all have a cocktail and a good time!

Playing in the Dirt

We finally got that berm knocked down!

wpid-20140504_151227.jpgtrust me, it used to be more of an eyesore

And guess what we found…

wpid-20140504_151213.jpgmore plastic!

Gross…but…

wpid-20140504_151232.jpgmore rocks!

We had enough rocks to make a full ring around our maple tree! It looks really nice! But there’s other stuff I want to show you:

wpid-20140504_143612.jpgI also found this. I think it’s a scrunchie. How, compelling…

Enough shenanigans!

wpid-20140504_142831.jpgI bought some friends!

I bought myself a lilac bush, a pussy willow and a calla lily! Whoo hoo! There was also a fuschia,

wpid-20140504_145900.jpgnext to the goofy flamingo and rain chime.

wpid-20140504_145909.jpgI love these!

wpid-20140504_145926.jpgsorry the blooms are kind of crap, it’s fresh from the store.

SO WHO HAS TWO THUMBS AND GETS TO DIG A HOLE?

wpid-20140504_142850.jpgTHANK GOD I DON’T HAVE THUMBS.

Now, I’ve dug a hole before and planted a lot of trees a lot drunker than I was while doing this. It’s not rocket science. But, of course, the yard fought with me.

wpid-20140504_143605.jpgdelightful paper stuff, I think it was originally intended to keep the weeds out.

wpid-20140504_143855.jpgoh look, gravel. LOTS AND LOTS OF GRAVEL.

wpid-20140504_144356.jpgmore gravel!

And, I kid you not, under the gravel, plastic!

DID THIS PERSON WANT TO MAKE ME INSANE?

Ok, I get it, it probably was there to trap water or something, but SERIOUSLY, do you need PLASTIC around and under your garden? Cool it, lady!

After a lot of pacing, complaining and sassing, I managed to get back to work.

wpid-20140504_145316.jpglilac, in the ground. not super impressive yet…

wpid-20140504_145321.jpgcloser inspection

wpid-20140505_092522.jpgpussy willow, in the ground, also not dreadfully impressive yet…

wpid-20140504_150252.jpgcalla lily, in the pot! Yey!!

Finally, I feel like I am getting something done with this yard, it was making me crazy! Next step, well, that is a fine question. I think I need to recover a bit from my plastic tantrum and arm flailing. Cocktail time!

Things I’ve Been Up To

Well, I haven’t been just dodging lemons and weeping into pints of Ben and Jerry’s while watching reruns of Ancient Aliens.

I have been drinking a lot of gin. But who doesn’t like gin?

Also, I convinced the fiance to buy a Jeep after A LOT OF USELESS STUPID THINGS happened to his Trailblazer. Here’s a pro tip we both learned: Don’t buy a freaking Trailblazer unless you want a paper weight that you pour money into. Anyway, now we have red and green Jeeps. We’re Christmas Jeeps! We’re sooooo cute, you’ll just throw up in your mouth.

Also I’ve discovered I should just drive 30 miles to The Awesome Mechanics* and avoid any other freaking mechanic unless they hand out lube at the door. I asked them to give me new wipers. Oh, they apparently did not. I discovered this in a rain storm when something resembling a black spaghetti noodle flung itself from my wiper and rendered the whole ensemble useless. Upon examination, it appears they glued new strips to my old wipers. Obviously, that went well.

*click that link and look at Mike’s face. OMG how can you not trust him? The half-grin amused “I guess I have to have my picture taken” picture. They are absolutely amazing, great work and excellent customer service!

I’ve been out and about, too:

wpid-20140419_072037.jpgbrave grape hyacinth

wpid-20140419_072009.jpgthe trees are waking up!

wpid-20140419_065955.jpgfound the local sewage treatment plant

wpid-20140419_064356.jpgtook a few lovely bike rides

wpid-20140419_064620.jpgat 6 am because i am clearly insane.

wpid-20140419_064602.jpgbut the light is the best at sunrise

wpid-20140419_064244.jpgit’s my favorite time of the day

wpid-20140411_092822.jpgsome flowers popped up before it snowed AGAIN.

wpid-20140411_092800.jpga bunch of happy

wpid-20140406_184136.jpgone of my succulents flowered, i wasn’t even aware they flower

wpid-20140415_131132.jpgthe dog said “f this s” to the snow

wpid-20140419_115314.jpgi bought some sewing patterns

I spent a lovely Easter with my family and friends at the Ancestral Blessings. 

Which was a riot. This time I didn’t end up muddy or with various pine cones in my Jeep.

wpid-20140420_170707.jpgit’s stupid beautiful out there.

wpid-20140420_165256.jpgno fish awake yet

wpid-20140420_165248.jpghere fishy, fishy!

wpid-20140420_164552.jpgcan’t wait til the grass grows up again

wpid-2014-04-21-10.46.33.jpg.jpegLet’s finish this on a high note, a stupid selfie with my cousin and fiance cropped out, I am not going to post pictures of other people without express consent. But we had an absolute blast!

Tree…hoard…?

Ok, ya’ll know I hoard houseplants. I mean, I think I’ve showed you guys like 10 out of the 33+ I have. It is crazy. But I do love plants. And trees, why haven’t I mentioned trees? WHAT HAVE I BEEN DOING? I love trees! I grew up on a lot that was BURSTING with trees. I had trees for climbing, trees for peeping on bird nests, trees for hiding, trees for making forts. I had trees, man. I even have a special blue spruce that was planted on my exact birthday. It’s still alive, when stop buy my dad’s house, I will post a picture of it. Last time I saw it, it was at least 20 or maybe 30 feet tall. It’s huge! Did you know there is a “pine tree” that sheds it’s needles in the winter? My childhood neighbor had one. Omg, trees.

Well, over at Green Lizard‘s blog, she wrote a post about following a tree outside her house. It really got me thinking.

My neighborhood has some great trees. I personally love oaks and maples the best. And we have some old, old, old oak trees, so tall you can’t even see the leaves unless you look straight up. We have maples galore, a few willows here and there. One of my neighbors has a Japanese maple, my favorite tree ever. And there are, believe it or not, considering our climate, ginkos! I’ve always followed the trees wherever I live. My old apartment have some beautiful trees, the font yard had a red maple and there was a weeping willow across the street. Have you ever seen a curly willow? My future in laws and my uncle have one. JEALOUS!! We had some arborvitaes in the back yard of my apartment complex, a living privacy fence. If you went through the path between them, there was an empty plot of just enormous oak trees.

Every year at my uncle’s house we plant baby trees that have started sporadically from seeds outside and it’s a whole day of mud, mayhem, beer and trees! Next time I am out there, be prepared for pictures!

Right now, my yard only has 6 trees in back, two big ones we share with the neighbor and some shrubs. I’ve got my eye on getting a truck load of trees, but that will be for later. So, here are my tree friends! I’m mostly identifying them from memory, so I might be very wrong. They just look like sticks right now.

wpid-20140309_123450.jpgboring!

But I did dig back into the vaults to find pictures that I had take last year of the trees, so this is I believe from last fall

wpid-storageextSdCardDCIMCamera2012-10-14-14.05.03.jpg.jpg

wpid-20131009_132854.jpgprobably the same tree, they are next to each other

I’m definitely not sure what he is. I will post more pictures when he grows leaves again! The bird feeder tree:

wpid-20140309_123609.jpgwpid-20131009_132836.jpg

is a red maple. You won’t believe how amazing it looks in fall. There are so many amazing trees by me, I can’t wait til they grow leaves! I haven’t really thought about them during this terrible winter, but I will post pictures this year for sure!