Regrow Scallions (Take One)

get in the groove and let the good times roll, we’re gonna stay here til we soothe our soul

Way back in the day, you can ask brittlynnstalker, she knows, I was poor as dirt. Like, no sheets on the mattress on the floor, no dresser, no TV, not even a garbage can poor. We’re talking broke. Although I only overdrafted my account twice. Whew, trust me, it wasn’t easy. I have enough credit (not enough funds obviously or you’d see my jeep with WAY bigger tires) to probably buy the entire town I live in. It’s not if you can afford it, it’s if you can afford to keep it. Anyway, I was poor, but not in debt, dammit. Never been in debt. Paid for my jeep with cash.

Around this time an old friend of mined move in with me to help with rent. Real stand up guy. Crazy as the day is long, but completely a true friend. Saved my life once, no joke. Well we didn’t have heat and we didn’t have AC and we didn’t have food so it was a little weird. One day I came home from work and opened the door to him, shirtless (as was his custom, remember, no AC) brandishing a half of an onion at my face while inquiring, “Onion?”

No hello, just “Onion?”

A delightful snack.

I don’t know how I remained relatively sane. The other day, when I bought some scallions, I remembered that, being that broke and hungry and ridiculous and stupid and young. A lot of drunk as well. Don’t judge me, if you’ve ever pinched pennies that hard, sometimes you need a break. It was worth it. I’ll retire on a million if I never add to it again, and that’s not a lie either. I started a retirement fund when I was 17. My future children’s college is paid for. I’ve got stuff squirreled away, it’s just not “mine” anymore.

Anyway, right now I am in not the best economic situation, not NEARLY as bad, but I am prepared. I can’t save, but I’m not eating into my savings. And in that spirit, I looked at my bunch of scallion bulbs and thought, hey, why not see if we can get these to grow? Hopefully it will turn out better than the romaine and celery attempts. If you’re too lazy to read (I understand, I ramble a lot), they bolted and it was a dramatic failure. So here we go:

ReGrow Scallions:

I put them into a small mason jar and dumped them on the window sill. Within a day, I had quite a bit of growth. Within a week, as it is now, I have roots growing. I’m debating sticking them in dirt to see if they take off.

wpid-20141201_115859.jpgdoing…stuff…

If they bolt on me, I will be quite annoyed. If this is a success, my next attempt will be regrowing ginger.

Save your tea bags, times are hard. 😀

 

Be A Sinner and Sin Strongly (Eat S’mores)

Be a sinner an sin strongly, but more strongly have faith and rejoice in Christ.” –Martin Luther

it’s about John, but same theme?

Martin Luther, the great reformer. Nailed 95 Theses on the door of All Saints’ Church in Wittenberg on October 31, 1517. He married a nun. I think he was a stand up guy. I’m an old school Lutheran. I keep silverware in my pocket in case of emergency pot lucks.

Now, I am all about eating healthier and making food from scratch. I see little merit in pre-made box food. I see even less merit in canned frosting. My God, it’s powdered sugar and milk, if you can’t mix that, you need some exorcising.

But, I am also a firm believer that life is freakin’ short and you have to live a little. Ain’t nobody want orthorexia. That is just foolish. I can’t stand when someone won’t eat something just because it’s not spinach leaves and mustard. True story. I’ll tell you all another time. People be crazy.

I have my personal weaknesses, funnel cake, corn dogs and ice cream are the usual suspects. But I’m also a big fan of s’mores. Maybe I just like burning marshmallows. If you separated the ingredients, chocolate, graham crackers, marshmallow; you’d be hard pressed to get me to eat them. Not a chocolate fan. Crucify me, I just really don’t care that much for it. Maybe I just like the process, the campfire, finding a perfect stick, skewing a big fat (gross) marshmallow and lighting it on fire until it’s a molten goo. Slap that on chocolate and graham cracker, I’ll eat it. I sin a little, to spite the devil.

When Mamie’s Toffee, a friend of a friend somehow on the wonder of the Facebooks, shared a blog post from Five Heart Home called S’mores Dip, I was sold. I sent out invites for guinea pigs to come help me eat it. It’s pretty basic, you need a cast iron skillet, butter to grease the pan, chocolate chips of your choice and marshmallows. I’m leaving steps out, click the link if you want to know how to make them.

wpid-20141021_210106.jpgforgive me Father, I am eating processed food…marshmallows aren’t even marshmallows

After I managed to twist a few arms, I had a hearty crew to test it out. Oh man. It’s good. An excellent party trick.

wpid-20141021_215534.jpgdon’t burn yourself…pro tip…

And I love a good party trick. Pop in oven, impress all. Who doesn’t love that? Dip in graham crackers and get melted chocolate-marshmallow heaven and IRL likes.

So forgive me, I have sinned. But all in good faith.

Shenanigan Sunday

Sunday was ridiculous, as usual. We went to breakfast with my dirty hippie NSA watchlist buddy and discusses our usual: reuse, reduce, recycle, make things and get weird. He makes candles and is doing a bang up job selling them. We stopped by at his house after breakfast, to continue complaining about the government (NSA: WHY DON’T YOU EVER CLICK “LIKE” ON MY BLOG? OR MY FACEBOOK STATUS? OR MY TWEETS? DON’T YOU THINK I’M PRETTY? CALL ME!) and I noticed he had some particularly interesting crates laying around. He offered me one, it’s a corn crate, we are in the middle of corn country. I like it, right now it’s outside, hanging with the outside things.

wpid-20140803_104051.jpgthe greyhound approves.

After that, I went to the local farm stand and bought everything:

wpid-20140803_103939.jpgnot pictured, 10# of sweet corn.

I got some local honey as well. I am dying to try the sauerkraut. Dying. Like, I might just get a spoon.

I also made another batch of cinnamon rolls for the people at the factory I work at. I like them a lot. They’re great people.

wpid-20140803_114241.jpgahoy! a fair sea of frosting!

Then we went off to the in laws and had lunch and then off to a barbeque! I had a busy Sunday! But it was a lot of fun!

I got my Java Moss today and I will be posting about it tomorrow, so stay tuned! 😀

Thoughts about Clutter, Playing With Succulents and Stuff

This week has been crazy busy! Vacation, then work, work, work, then helping my friend move and then work and now, finally, I can get something that interests me done.

One of my friends’ moved to a smaller town about 10 miles away. It stinks because we were basically neighbors and could shout fart jokes and NSA watch list keywords to each other. Like any good American. But, alas, he moved to a new place and we helped him get packed and what not. While admiring his pile of worldly processions strewn on the ground, I came to the conclusion that I seriously need to declutter my space. When I moved in with that dude I’ll be married to in 27 days and 5 hours plus or minus a few minutes we basically were two households combining. I had a full apartment of kitchen, bath, bed and living room gear as well as his. I have always thought of myself as “move ready” such as most of my clutter (pictures, memorabilia, stuff like that) is stored in boxes and labeled. I just keep dragging them around with me. I am pretty good about keeping my things organized and away, but despite not buying anything since I moved in (except a small table at a thrift store and a few odds and ends from the same store) I still feel like I have too much stuff. I need to either display my pictures or par them down. Just this year, my grandmother’s house sold and I grabbed a bunch of odds and ends from there. It was packed to the gills, let me tell you. Just stuffed. She’d been living there for decades and was a bit of a pack rat. Organized, but man, mountains of stuff. I got some great bowls, plates, odds and ends and, my God, a full jeep hatch worth of photos. No lie. Seats down and everything. Full. Those have to be dealt with.

Since I moved in, I’ve tried to work some things around, but my decorating skills include: do nothing, suddeninspirationgetitdonenow. It’s been almost 2 years now, I really need to get on it. I’m thinking this winter, when it gets cold (who wants to play inside in the summer?) I am going to go through every inch of the house and par things down. From the bedrooms, to my closet, to the basement. Sell it, thrift it, give it away. We want to start storing food in case of emergency, or ay least have a system down. We’ll have more room for beer brewing, soap making (SOON WE ARE MAKING WEDDING SOAP, I PROMISE I WILL DO A BIG POST, REALLY, I’VE MEANT TO DO THAT FOR A WHILE WE JUST ARE TWO PEOPLE WE DON’T MAKE THAT MUCH SOAP) and really get our house organized. I am a wizard at organizing, or at least I was when I was by myself. My cupboards and under my cabinets were “faced” and I had “kits” that I set up for specific tasks, like a dog/cat grooming supplies, laundry supplies, cleaning supplies all organized in bins, labeled and put away. I could tell you verbally without looking where any single item was. Now that our households have combined, it’s been daunting to try and get two houses’ worth of stuff into one organized system. So, pray for me! 😉 Coming this winter! Hopefully I will have some tips for you guys as well, my first tip is: save your shoeboxes and other decent sized boxes. They’re essentially free and work just as well as plastic bins. Plus you can knock them down flat and store them easily.

My friend who moved lived with a roommate, who is a very nice girl and just getting into the dreaded plant hoarding. She’s get herself a decent garden and even a few plants I am jealous of. I gave her one of my baby spider plants and now it’s like 17 spider plants and might have eaten the couch. I talked to her a bit today regarding aloe vera plant issues she was having and hopefully she’ll be all sorted in no time. This inspired me to clean up my plant hoard a bit! Many of my succulents have a few years on their pots and have started to get quite impressive. Some have been turds. Looking at you, sedeveria fanfare. Ya jerk. I took the turd ones and clipped them down until they are just babies again and took a few clippings from my more successful succulents and combined them into one pot. What ever decides to live, wins.

wpid-20140601_104947.jpgclockwise, the turd fanfare, mystery weird plant that used to look like a flower, senecio radican, rhipsalis cassutha, the vaguely labeled “crassula species” and sedum “coral reef”

It’d be great if they’d all grow together to be a glorious display of succulents, but this is seriously the last chance for the turd succulents. I’m not asking them to look perfect, but looking for less Pink Flamingos and more To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything. Ya know, crazy is okay, but not crazzzzzzzzzzzzzzy.

My Formerly Unlucky Now Lucky Bamboo is doing splendid!

wpid-20140601_105623.jpgwe’re like, uh, Wesley Snipes in a dress? Sure…Whatever, lady.

There is still the little rogue in there, I am confident that it is a baby bamboo, very exciting! And my herb bed is finally growing things. There’s some rogue flowers in there, which I am going to leave. I guess I can pick herbs around a few flowers.

wpid-20140601_105022.jpgthe big white spot in the middle is a flower, I didn’t get a close up

wpid-20140601_105030.jpgdill and LOTS OF WEEDS

wpid-20140601_105039.jpgcilantro and LOTS OF WEEDS

I need to weed, badly, but until I know what is what, I am afraid to do it. I guess it will have to wait. Hopefully not too long, I’ve gotta have this place beautiful (or at least tolerable) in 27 days, 4 hours and plus or minus a few minutes.

On that note, I better finish making my wedding dress

Vienna Bread, Pitas, Trouble Makin’

well done, sir!

Just want to get this out of the way:

My goal from last Monday to this Monday was to not drive my Jeep. SUCCESS! It took a little maneuvering and extra trips, but I only used my bicycle! And I worked a full gazillion hours! Granted, I did carpool for a few trips, but I feel that it’s still a success! I was hoping to use this:

wpid-20140512_091538.jpgwscottling mentioned one of these in her blog…seriously, read that post, it was pretty interesting!!

but I managed okay with a backpack. I just have to make multiple trips. When I have to get dog food or something, I plan to make use of my granny cart! I got it from my uncle, who doesn’t remember where he got it and it’s just awesome. I intended to put streamers and a little horn on it because I have no shame, but I haven’t gotten around to that yet.

wpid-2014-05-12-16.14.03.png.pngthis is proof that i have no shame. my uncle made me do it! yes I had a few adult beverages and it was a ridiculous amount of fun and like years ago.

Today was my day off and I decided to make pitas and Vienna bread. Pitas, as I have noted before, are good any time and Vienna bread makes great sandwich bread. It’s an enriched loaf, which means it has more than just flour, yeast, water and salt. To start, I need a pate fermentee, which is really just a fancy way of saying pre-ferment.  Which is kind of like a flavor boost for bread. Since pitas do not require such fancy fixin’s I started them at the same time. Instead of making whole wheat, like I normally do, I made white pitas. Kind of lame, but not everyone loves whole wheat. And besides, I can make more whole wheat ones for me!

wpid-20140512_082220.jpgIT’S ALIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!

wpid-20140512_083345.jpgpitas, at rest

wpid-20140512_084339.jpgpate fermentee, at rest

wpid-20140222_135645.jpggreyhound and cat, at rest

I am trying to speed up the process. TECHNICALLY, I should have put the pre-ferment in the fridge over night, but I didn’t have that kind of time. So my reasoning was to finish the pitas and then move on to the Vienna bread, giving it time to work it’s yeast magic…stuff…

wpid-20140512_102919.jpgshaped into balls, roll ’em out, stick ’em in the oven.

wpid-20140512_112448.jpgdelicious!!

So waiting on the Vienna bread, I made a grocery list:

wpid-20140512_091432.jpgi am a lefty. watch me use a can opener and weep.

Then I hopped on the bike to the store. I managed to get most of what I needed at the local place and was starting to ride back when I saw another place I hadn’t been to before. I was under the impression that they only sold grains and like real specific things, so I dropped in for a visit. I did need lentils and they’re sort of a grain, right? Well, it was early in the morning and whomever was working there did not seem to be thrilled to see a smelly, sweaty chick raging in on a bicycle screaming about lentils. But she did point me to the lentils and I would have stayed longer to check it out, but, um, she didn’t seem in the mood. Oh well, I’ll try again. I wouldn’t want to deal with me first thing in the morning either. It’s nothing but off color jokes.

NSFW

I got home and put my stuff away and then went out to buy a lining for the wedding dress! I went to a big box store (booooo!) but there isn’t any locally owned place. Too bad I guess, I brought the top part of the dress in a tote bag and off I went. I looked at about every single purple in the store and went with…

drumroll…

drumroll…

wpid-20140512_123213.jpgwell, it’s certainly purple. i got that right.

wpid-20140512_123231.jpgi like it!

There was a darker purple that I liked better, but it was too dark under the crochet. It looked navy. Oh well, I am please! Now I just have to figure out how to do it! Cost of the wedding dress so far is $72. Suck it, David’s Bridal! That might be a joke only weirdos in the Midwest get. I dunno, any of ya’ll got a ridiculously expensive chain outlet that sells over priced wedding dresses and bridesmaids dresses and are fairly useless? One of my friends is getting married in August and I am a bridesmaid and I DON’T EVEN WANT to tell you how much fun (none) going to David’s Bridal was. Anyway!

I got a ton of fabric so hopefully I am free to make mistakes, but I have a pretty concrete plan of “laying the crochet over the fabric and cutting or something like that.”

That’s my story. Sticking to it. On to Vienna bread!

wpid-20140512_153742.jpgGETTING BUSY UP IN HERRE!

As I mentioned, I prefer this in a bread pan to be used as sandwich bread, which means we have to shape it. Here’s how!

wpid-20140512_153933.jpglay the whole thing out and stretch it into a rectangle, sort of.

wpid-20140512_154030.jpgcut it in half and stretch it to be as long as the pan

wpid-20140512_154055.jpgroll it up, pinching it as you roll

wpid-20140512_154203.jpgstretch out the last bit and pinch the seam as well as you can.

wpid-20140512_154322.jpgturn it seam side down and roll it back and forth a bit so the seam calms down. It doesn’t have to be perfect, unless you’re serving the pope or something. that’s your business.

Set it in the pan and wait for it to rise!

Baked up and ready to eat:

wpid-20140512_172745.jpgwe almost ate the pan

Kefir Cheese…SUCCESS!

This is going to be quick and dirty as:

  1. I am most filthy from yard work.
  2. I smell TERRIBLE.
  3. I have more yard work to do.
  4. I have to make pizza dough.
  5. I am clearly insane/suffering from exposure.
  6. I need a nap and/or beer.

HOWEVER, the kefir cheese was a major success!

I took a peek at it while I was taking a short break from yard work, which we started at 7 am this morning. It includes ripping out a flower bed and the garden and God help me, planting things. But it looked like this:

wpid-20140510_151320.jpgit’s definitely a thing.

Curious, I gave it a taste and despite being a tiny bit frozen (see comments) due to being in the way back of the fridge, it was DELICIOUS! It tasted like a mix between cream cheese and sour cream. I mean, it was stupid good. I had to control myself from eating it all.

To make sure I was not just delirious from sun exposure, I asked the dude who I guess I’ll marry one of these days and he thought it was great too! So either we are both delirious or it’s pretty darn good. I tried feeding the whey

wpid-20140510_151535.jpgno whey! yes whey? I’m delirious from exposure, remember?

to Angie the greyhound, but she was not particularly inclined. Ah well. Anyway, I am back off to the coal mine! I will tell you all about it later!

Kefir Cheese, I Think…

I am terrible at following directions. Just want to get that out first.

Anyway, I know I haven’t chatted much about my kefir grains, mostly because, well, they just do what they do and I make smoothies out of them. It’s not terribly exciting. Some people are ALL over them with INSANE claims, but so far I am not quite as obsessed. Also, seriously, they probably don’t cure ever disease known to man. Calm down, guys. It’s a tasty, inexpensive way to make a beverage. Yes, they will help your guts. I will say I am a firm (harharohgodthatwasterrible) believer in that.

My grains have multiplied to ridiculous proportions, I have given away at least 3 portions and have been stuck eating them to keep the population down. They’re actually tasty, like a, I don’t know, I am not a food critic, but they’re kind of sour and zingy(?) I guess. I usually just add them to my smoothie and blend it all together. I make about 2 cups at a time, one for me, one for the dude I think I’ll get married to or something. The other day I made an extra batch because my life is sometimes boring and I read about making kefir cheese from Cultured Food Life and YOU CAN ALSO BUY HER BOOK AND PAY TO BE A MEMBER AND A WHOLE BUNCH OF OTHER STUFFFFFF WOW. Okay, she does have some really good information on kefir, and I am glad she’s able to make a living off of what she does, but, um, just read some of these…They’re a little odd. I respect anyone’s opinion, but um, wow.

Anyway, why not make kefir cheese? Not like it’s going to take long or be particularly difficult. Well, unless you happen to be me. I can make anything difficult.

Without further rambling, the kefir stored in the fridge from yesterday:

wpid-20140508_075527.jpgcurds and whey…fancy smancy up in here…

Even though Donna suggested to use a coffee filter, I decided to just use a napkin to strain the kefir. Simply because I have a french press and I don’t ever have coffee filters.

wpid-20140508_075334.jpgthis will be interesting…

Now, I was all excited to redneck rig something up to hold the napkin so the whey could drain, but fortunately or unfortunately a simple solution arose:

wpid-20140508_075822.jpg*giggles maniacally*

I literally tied the “bag” to the fridge. I am a class act. So, we’ll see how this goes! Hopefully it will be tasty and fun and stuff, but Donna scares me a bit…

*edited 5/10/2014 VIEW THE SUCCESS HERE!

One more tidbit before I go! I think I should play this song at my wedding…NSFW…

The Beer Yeast Poolish

If you recall, the wedding beer was quite lively and gaseous.

wpid-20140324_081203.jpgGURGLE GURGLE GURGLE *RASPBERRY*

Loud enough that it startled me several times. In the picture above, you can see a measuring cup with some blow off yeast in it. Well, waste not want not!

I decided to try and make bread out of it.

wpid-20140326_205624.jpgrather unpleasant looking, i’d say

I hunted around the internet for any advice and mostly saw “don’t” and “it makes dense bread”. Well, screw you, INTERNET, you can’t tell me what to do!

I decided to start off with a poolish. If the yeast was lively, it would grow.

wpid-20140326_205921.jpgagain, unpleasant looking

Sure enough, within a few hours we had:

wpid-20140327_101445.jpgIT’S ALIIIIIIVVVVVVVVEEEEE!!

Perplexed with what step to take next, I put the poolish in the fridge for two days while I thought about it.

wpid-20140327_135145.jpgPoolish Day Two: imma gonna eat ur refrigerator…

A dense loaf, like sourdough, was what what the INTERNETZ told me to expect. So I decided to do an italian bread with sugar and to use milk instead of water. Unfortunately, I had to go to work so my lovely fiance was charged with shaping, final proof and baking. I left him with sage tips, such as, “if it turns into a taquilla, call a priest.”

wpid-20140329_093606.jpgi swear, i am not a taquilla! what is wrong with you?

I came home to…

Drumroll…

No, seriously, drumroll…

wpid-20140329_174849.jpgpretty sure that’s bread…

Not too bad for a first time shaping!  I’ve done worse! Seriously. Well done! Now what about the taste? If you recall, the wedding beer has raspberries in it and the yeast did have a slight raspberry smell. So we cut that bad boy open:

wpid-20140331_181809.jpgnot dense. ok, well i (bmary) am dense, but the bread isn’t

The flavor was slightly sweet and very good. It was not dense at all. I think the reason for this was that the yeast used was very fresh and the INTERNETZ was mostly discussing spent yeast, like from the bottom of the a beer after it brews. That I could see being considerably less lively. Regardless, this made very good bread! If you wanted to use spent yeast from a home brew, I would suggest feeding it much like a mother starter until it was fully awake and bubbly.

Screw saving a piece of wedding cake, we’ll save a beer thank you.

Makin’ Peanut Butter

Bless me Father, I have sinned. I have lately been eating store bought peanut butter. My shame is great. I even went so far as to purchase a wildly too expensive brand of “all-natural” peanut butter which probably contains the tears of orphans working in sweatshops. Why, oh why, was I so foolish? I used to make my own peanut butter all the time. Why was I so lazy?

NSFW (cursing)

Seriously though WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? How am I so lazy to not make peanut butter? I am a peanut butter addict. I can murder a jar of peanut butter. Hand me a banana (or just a spoon) and I will make that jar beg for mercy. And for years I made it from, guess what! Peanuts and peanut oil. Maybe some salt. Maybe a little honey or sugar. Whatever. It takes like 5 minutes (depending on how crazy you are–more about that in a sec) and the reward is PEANUT BUTTER! YEY!! Slather that on home made bread, or a banana, or just shove a spoon in. Whatever, trust me, I am in no position to judge! If you want to skip through my rambling (I can get long winded) the recipe and basic instructions are at the bottom!

You Will Need:

  • Peanuts
  • Peanut Oil
  • Food Processor
  • Clean Jar with Lid
  • Add ins (optional) such as honey, sugar, salt, chocolate, I don’t know, you pick!

Step One In Making Peanut Butter: The Hard Part

Finding Peanuts that are Just Peanuts

This is possibly the most obnoxious step. One would think of the myriad of nut related snack products, there would be a provision for people who just freaking want plain peanuts.

AHHAHAH AH HA HA HA HA.

The first time I made peanut butter, I spent 10 minutes in the Nut/Snack/Mostly Garbage aisle. I picked up a jar that looked like peanuts. It was peanuts and, well, I am not sure. Some weird oils and flavorings. Ok, I checked the next one, LIKEWISE. How fun! It’s like a depressing game of how much weird stuff is in your food that you didn’t think about! You ever read labels? I do, constantly, and I have learned to just avoid anything that needs a label. Pro tip. If you really want a LOL and a half, read a jar of “bacon bits.” I was babysitting for a friend once and I stumbled on her container of bacon bits. Well, ol’ curiosity got the better of me. It was so hilarious (to me anyway) that I took a picture. This was a long time ago, but I found it just so you can join me in the LOLz.

wpid-1383743405912.jpgTHERE IS NO BACON IN BACON BITS. ONLY ZUUL.

I mean seriously, seriously, what is all of that? Now, keep in mind, I am not trying to be judgmental, I don’t care what you eat. Sometimes I eat horrible things too. I have a once a year weakness for a Mr. Goodbar and corndogs (only at the fair!). Mostly I just try to avoid things I would prefer not to eat so I don’t feel bad when the corndog attack mode turns on.

Soooooooooooooo, back to the subject at hand here. In essence, good luck finding peanuts! Godspeed! Read those labels, there is no point of making home made peanut butter with not-real-peanuts. If you want to make this for super cheap and are absolutely insane like I am, you can:

wpid-20140327_145230.jpgOMG I THINK…THEY ARE…OMG PEANUTS!!

Buy peanuts from someone who sells them in bulk! YEY!! Real peanuts! Now, you’re going to have to shell these, if you are as insane as I am. If your double insane like me, you can make your own reusable produce bag to proudly carry them out of the store and not waste a plastic bag. This is the dirt cheap option. This entire bag was under a dollar. There are a surprising amount of peanuts in there. I only used about a quarter of the bag.

Now you have to shell them, you crazy person, you. Really, it didn’t take long, maybe about 10 minutes and I had about a cup of peanuts. You don’t want to make a ton of home made peanut butter because it won’t last forever. It needs to stay in the fridge and I usually give mine about a week to a week and a half before it needs to be done. So be honest about how much you’re going to eat in a week or so.

wpid-20140327_160511.jpgsome peanuts made a detour to my mouth hole rather than into the bowl

Step Two (or something), you need to get out the food processor. If you don’t have one, you can use a blender, but that is very obnoxious to clean (ask me how I know). My fabulous food processor was free and I think is from the War Between the States. All I did was ask on my Facebook. It’s small, but it’s a trooper and a cinch to clean.

wpid-20140327_160604.jpgit’s a wee food processor!

Grind up the peanuts to a powder. Slowly add a bit of peanut oil to the mix. The less peanut oil, the better. The mixture should smooth out and start to look like peanut butter. I prefer mine on the dryer side. This time, I will admit I added too much oil. I added about a half a tablespoon. Give me a break, it’s been a while. It still tastes great, but a little runny.

Taste the mixture. Do you want more salt? Do you want some sweetness? Add a bit of honey or salt or whatever you would like, a little at a time, blending and tasting. I prefer mine on the plain side because then I can just make toast, add the peanut butter and add honey on top and eat like a happy little bandit.

But it’s up to you. It definitely will have more of a texture than store bought. I guess the best way to describe it is that it has a bit of a grainy mouth feel that is not at all unpleasant, but don’t expect the play-doh you can get at the grocery store.

When you’re all done, put it in a jar!

wpid-20140327_161255.jpgthe bananas are terrified

Or, just eat it. With a spoon. Don’t tell anyone, though. There’s no calories if no one saw you eat it. Right??? RIGHT???? GUYS??? AM I RIGHT?????

Don’t forget to refrigerate! 😀

Home Made Peanut Butter (without rambling)

You Will Need:

  • Peanuts (one cup)
  • Peanut Oil (up to a two tsp)
  • Food Processor
  • Clean Jar with Lid
  • Add ins (optional) such as honey, sugar, salt, chocolate, I don’t know, you pick!

Grind peanuts in a food processor and slowly add peanut oil until desired consistency. Add in honey, salt or sugar to taste. Store in a jar in the fridge up to a week and a half. Makes a little under a cup of peanut butter.

I’m Back!

With BEER!

wpid-20140324_081203.jpgit’s been farting at me all day

and BAD SELFIES

wpid-1395002560766.jpgcheck out my cabbages!

It’s good to be back! The basement computer has been brought upstairs so I don’t have to hang out with the creepy crawlies in the basement. Not that I mind terribly much, but it’s cold down there because somehow it has not yet warmed up here in Illinois. It’s like a damn tundra around here. There is a swarm of very upset robins outside. There’s at least a dozen in the yard at all times complaining. Also, I think sanity has disappeared around here as well. The “high” today is a whole 36 degrees. Insanity! I don’t know how much more we can take! Last year, it was 80 degrees in early March. Ugh!

Well, I haven’t been up to a whole lot. I’ve continued in the crochet sweatshop and I am almost done with the skirt portion of my wedding dress. About two more rows, then the waistband. After that, I am going to work the same pattern, only smaller, for the top starting at the waist. When I get through with that, I am going to turn that part over and work up to make a halter type top, which I am probably just going to wing. I don’t want my cabbages hanging out. Next, I am going to sew some sort of lining so that the dress isn’t see through. When all of that is said and done, I might add some embellishments here and there, like a bit of ribbon or trim, or whatever strikes my fancy. But I really won’t know until I get a good look at the finished product. I am really excited, it is very pretty. I can’t think of anyone I know that has a handmade wedding dress! Interesting to add, the dress has so far only cost me $50 and I am guessing it will end up around $100.

Also, my lovely fiance started brewing our wedding beer, which we will be using for the toast. He likes making beer and I thought it would be perfect for our completely unconventional wedding. I managed to sneak a few pictures for you. Don’t tell him!

wpid-20140322_110245.jpgI honestly have no idea what this step is about.

wpid-20140322_130411.jpgnope, no idea what’s going on here either, except we have to add hops at certain times.

wpid-20140324_081203.jpggurgle gurgle gurgle gurgle…

THIS BEER IS VERY NOISY!

It sounds like someone ate some very, very bad food. Every few minutes it gurgles loudly at me. It’s actually made me jump once or twice. It smells great though! He used raspberries in it.Now we just have to wait til it ferments.

He also finished the invitations. They took a lot longer than we anticipated. Who knew making your own invitations would take forever! I guess that’s why most people pay someone…gluttons for punishment over here. Basically we bought some very nice paper in earthy colors and he printed them out using a fancy shmancy printer he has at work. Then he had to cut them and glue them together. They look fantastic! I should have taken a picture, but I was pretty excited and forgot. Oh well! Just take my word for it!

Anyway, that’s about it around here. I have a lot of stuff to do before work today and thankfully I am off tomorrow, so maybe I can do something fun! Like make bread! Haven’t had time for that in ages! Poor Francine misses me. Hope you all have a wonderful day and I will chat more tomorrow!