OMG GUYS HAVE YOU HEARD ABOUT COCONUT OIL? IT’S A SUPER FOOD!!!!!!!!
CALL SOMEBODY! MICK JAGGER! GET HIM ON THE PHONE!
Alright, seriously now. I’ve wanted to write about coconut oil for a minute because I feel that everything I have ever read on the subject is a semi-nauseating-cheerleader-fest.
I like the stuff, I really do, but for those of you who are thinking about it, I would like to share some knowledge that I have gained from personal experience. Is it going to make you glow like a teen vampire in a movie? Not really. Does it help your skin? Duh, it’s oil. Can it go south? Yep, and it happened to me.
Why coconut oil?
Well, first off, I was looking for a lotion replacement. I was sick of paying good money for lotion that was mostly water and alcohol.
Mostly every where I looked on the internet was screaming about coconut oil and how it would cure and detox everything ever. I thought my liver was for detoxifying, but who am I to argue with the internet? It can get angry. (click that link, you won’t regret it SFW)
Anyway, I am happy to report it works really well. If you are looking for a lotion substitute, give it a swing. It will make your nails shiny, it will hydrate your skin. It can also give you some nasty acne…
Oh yes, I got the nasty acne.
Cos I’m an idiot. Occasionally.
Firstly, I choose to put it only on my hands and nails. When I discovered my nails indeed were much nicer, I moved to bigger parts. As the internet advised, I melted some into a small spray bottle and mixed it with warm water and spritz myself. Ok, that worked. It also got delightful amounts of gunk oil all over my shower which was my least favorite thing ever to clean up.
Take two. I melted it in the sink in hot water and applied it to myself. Way, way, way too liberally. Surprisingly long after this way, way, way to liberal frosting of myself,
HELLO ACNE. WHY ARE YOU HERE?
Omg, I got horrible face and neck acne. Horrible. Back to the internet (mistake) that told me, not only does the Space Jam website still exist, it also said I was detoxifying and to stick with it. LOFL. Pardon the F, but seriously, I don’t think “insane acne” is a step in “detoxifying.”
So I thought about it. I had been fine for about 4 months doing that same routine and suddenly, acne.
(I’m a slow thinker)
Ah, yes it came to me. The only thing that I had changed recently was that I was no longer wiping off the excess from my face before I got dressed. At first, I would wipe off most of it before work but then I got lazy and just went to work a bit shiny. So immediately, I stopped using it and lo and behold my face detoxified itself of the acne.
Then my skin dried up like it’s winter in the midwest or something. So now what? I don’t want freakish acne but this ashy white girl look isn’t for me.
A month ago I went back to applying it. Very, very small amounts. Probably a tablespoon for my entire mass. Probably not even a 1/4 teaspoon for my face and neck. So, that’s my advice people. Use it, it works excellent, but be very careful how much you use!!
Here’s how I do it:
AND USE IT FRUGALLY. I don’t want to scare you. It’s great stuff, it really, really is. It smells great, feels great and does a wonderful job. But you have to be a little careful. If you feel like you’re getting more acne than normal, stop using it for a bit, it will clear up like literally in a day or two, and use less. Less is more!