Sewing in Ends is Near.

The blanket of shame is done! Well, other than the ends. I was hoping I could show you the blanket, but there just no way I can get it done tonight. Send sweet death soon…

Enjoy my pets being silly:

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Abraham reminds me to brush my teeth. He also supervises.

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Angie is very proud of her new bunny.

The Blanket of Shame, Continues…

Silence means I am hardly at work on my WIPs. My stash busting blanket has become a quest for insanity as it continues to grow. Originally, I made it without stitch markers, which I am sure you can guess went terrible, because I am an idiot. Also, like 2 years ago. Well, it festered for a while and I really started to crack down on these past few weeks because I am so sick of seeing it laying there with a bunch of yarn in pieces too short to use for anything else. So here we are, about a foot more to go:

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Angie was trying to tell me something, something about a tennis ball…

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it’s so nice outside, don’t you want to throw the ball around? Huh? HUH???

Yes INDEED kids, the weather has broke around here! I am currently in a bikini (might be a lie) getting a tan (probably not a lie) next to an open window (totally the truth). So, as much as I’d love to stay and chat, I have a date with a stinky greyhound and her filth tennis ball. We’re going outside! :D

Better Luck This Year?

The other night, my dear husband and I hopped off to the hardware store to get supplies for starting out seedlings indoors. Last year was so dreadful. Cold, wet, windy, nothing grew. We had to BUY seedlings. After PLANTING seeds. It was horrible. All that work. ILLINOIS HATED ME LAST YEAR. We had a terrible crop, I got, maybe 5 tomatoes, about 3 peppers and my body weight in zucchini, because ya can’t upset those apparently. Ridiculous. We didn’t even recoup our loss in paying for everything. Well, we were awful busy last year as well. But STILL. I refuse defeat!

This year, A BEAUTIFUL GARDEN WILL BE MINE! Starting with grow lights!

We already had a bench and light fixtures, we just needed the bulbs and to redneck rig something up. Okay, fine, it wasn’t a true redneck rig job as we did PURCHASE a few things.

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a little of this

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a little of that

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LET THERE BE LIGHT!

Crisis 1 averted, now I took my afternoon off to plant the little seedlings. Funny story. I am excellent at hiding things from myself. Could not, for the life of me, find them. Where are they? Probably the last place I look. Obviously. That, I am not even kidding, took me an hour. I’m really good at Easter Egg hiding. *bang head here*

I scooped out some great compost from my worm bin and made mud pies. Because who doesn’t like making mud pies? Packed that into pots and planted three tiny seeds in each. In alphabetical order. Labeling them proved to be useless. I used masking tape and it just bled right off. So I’ll be singing the alphabet.

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this is for my future referrance

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found a worm egg, the brown spot towards the center

Lastly, lest you dream of me living in a winter wonderland, for those of you who maybe do not have to deal with 16″ of snow, enjoy how not pretty it is:

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pictured: not pretty.

It’s not all bad. Have some pretty pictures too:

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outside of cortland, il

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outside of where I work.

 wpid-20150202_075739.jpgTHIS IS WHAT IT IS LIKE TO DRIVE THROUGH. I was (obviously) the passenger. 

Is it spring yet? And, who’s starting a garden!?!

Infinity Scarf and Other Problems.

Finished up my infinity scarf! As I am bored to tears of taking selfies, I had Angie model for me. She doesn’t mind at all.

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this…this will involve a treat later, right?

I made it rather thin and long so I can loop it several times around. I love the colors. It’s keeping me toasty in this beautiful Illinois freeze party.  The pattern is from, oh man, one of my first projects, a tote bag. I liked the pattern for the strap so well, I just used it to make a scarf. I decided to make this one a little tamer than my other one. Angie modeled that one as well for me. I have no idea where the original pattern is, I think it was from a book at the library, but it’s basically a double crochet decrease, increase in the middle, decrease. There’s more, obviously, but I don’t want to give out the pattern. That’s unseemly.

In hilarious news, my pants are ridiculously too big for me. The only thing holding them up is my knees, I think. I look like I am smuggling diapers. I tried on a size three sizes smaller which I had on hand, but it’s just too small still. Damn. At least my work pants are okay, they are carpenter pants and are entirely more functional than “fashionable pants.” They have pockets that work. Plus I wear long johns under them at least for now. So I guess I’ll just look silly for a little bit.

I’m up to 3.5 miles running wise, off the recovery program, YEY! So now I get to make it up as I go. I considered running farther, but I didn’t want to set myself back. I think I’ll shoot to get up to 5 miles in the next two weeks, God willing and the creek don’t rise. Just slow and steady. Maybe I’ll be back at 6 miles by summer, wouldn’t that be fabulous? Maybe then I’ll fit into my teeny tiny pants!

Back to Hooking.

Sorry, I had to use that title. It was one of those kind of things. You can’t crochet without using at least one “hooker” joke per month.

In repentance, look at the story of my life:

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In all honesty, you’re more interesting when you have food.

One of my very good friends is having a hard time right now and my repertoire of responses to that situation is either food or gift related. Having a bad day? You need an entire pie. Or…maybe just a crochet scarf? Will that do? I certainly hope so.

I hopped off to the craft store, on another unrelated mission and stopped by the yarn. I was looking for a hunter green, but I just could not find the right color. I found a very pretty skein for myself, but not what I was looking for. I knew I had some leftover grey from that infamous poncho, so I was hoping that would be all right.

I wanted to do something different and it had to be sort of unisex for this particular person, to match their style. After trying out a few swatches, I went with a front post crochet to create a ribbed texture and worked the scarf along the long edge, rather than keeping the rows short. I think it looks rather smart. Which was the goal, duh.

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 THE DUCK FACES WILL CONTINUE UNTIL I FIGURE OUT HOW TO NOT HAVE RESTING B*TCH FACE.

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I really do like the texture. I think it will look good on my friend.

Having hauled through that while watching Hoarding: Buried Alive which is the replacement for Hoarders WHICH WAS A WAY BETTER SHOW AND GOT TAKEN OVER TO SHOWCASE FAKE REDNECKS. Bunch of wannabes. There is a process for being a redneck. Convenient segue, that post is about hoarding flowers. Ugh. Anyway, while I was binge watching the show I knocked out the scarf in about 3 hours. Give or take time for snacks, of course. Can’t not have snacks. I go to the gym, so I can have snacks.

Now, of course, I am on a roll and itching to start a new project, so I whipped out my new yarn and started a scarf that I modified from another pattern entirely. I’ve made this scarf before, you’ve seen it on myself and on my stinkhound. Actually, I made it for brittlynnstalker, but I like it so much I kept it, then immediately went to the store, bought another of the same skein and made her one. We match. Duuuuh. That’s starting out rather well,

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 I think I am going to make it an infinity scarf this time.

Other than that, I’ve continued to be rather dull. Which is fine by me, I’ve had plenty of excitement for a while, thank you.

Oh, lest I forget, I did have to express Abraham’s anal glands. How fun! I put in a how to for ya. In case you ever need it. Just so you know, I did work at a vet clinic as a cleaning person when I was like 16, but I occasionally got pressed into unpleasant service, so I’ve done it before. Not like I’m not used to butts at this point in my life.

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butt.

Dear WordPress:

Dear WordPress, To Whom It May Concern:

I am a simple woman. I like short walks to the buffet and I have silverware in my back pocket in case of an emergency potluck. I’m lutheran, after all. I am quite busy and frequently rely on your mobile app. However, it has come to my attention that, despite clicking “follow” on SEVERAL blogs, they do not appear in my feed. Also, I have noticed that several blogs have followed me, and it has not come into my “notifications.” Sure, you might have emailed me, but if I get past the fifteenth Nigerian prince offering me a million dollars to make my pickles bigger, it’s a good day. Why would I bother with your incessant emails when I have the app on my phone, wherein, I would assume, albeit wrongly, the exact same notifications would lie? You email me like a forlorn ex girlfriend who fails to leave me a voicemail to clarify her displeasure at my avoidance of her calls. What’s the damn point of the app if it doesn’t tell me anything? Ugh. Fix this. Ain’t nobody got time for that. 

P.S. I also hate the new format for posting.

Bandano-rama!

I’m still kicking! Oh my oh my have I had a bunch of BORING stuff on my plate. Okay, not all boring, but I’ve been knee deep in research (you know how I am, BE SURE TO LISTEN IN TO THE PRIZE AT THE END!!) on a project I plan to kick off this summer. More about that when the ball gets rolling. Also! I made something! Well, it’s for a certain crafty crocheter who sent me a BEAUTIFUL package of goodies. Her stitches are so neat and perfect, like, you wouldn’t believe. Looking at her stuff in real life is ridiculous. I don’t know how she does it. So, be sure to check out her blog, Tatie’s World, because really, THOSE PERFECT STITCHES! My project for her is actually from my work, at the factory, which I don’t talk about much because, well it’s hobby related, but it’s not my hobby. We make kits. I am not going to spoil the surprise, but we make kits that people put together. Sure, I can tell you what parts go in the box and how to print graphics on them, but I have never put them together. So, I did. Obviously the most spectacular and skill demanding one. Which required pleading for assistance. Because I am an idiot. But it’s all done! Maybe I’ll take home another kit one day and show you guys.

Other than sniffing glue (hint) I’ve been reading up on the summer project and well, being boring. I’ve also been obsessed with bandanas. Omg, working in a factory means you need to keep your hair out of your face and I’ve gotten real tired of the pony tail. So, BANDANO-RAMA!!!

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in my finest disgusting hoodie and rocky horror picture show shirt

Well, I went junking with one of my friends while my husband was nursing the flu, which I thankfully avoided. I would like to thank good night’s sleep, plenty of water, nutrition and exercise for the skipping of that pandemic. So I found some fantastic vintage scarves at one store for a dollar a piece! I bought three. Duh. While attempting a hand wash (as I do with all my lovely things) the colors started to bleed. Whoa! Got them out of the pool right quick. So now what? Apologies to your grandma, but I’m not wearing unwashed scarves.

I busted out my trusty ironing board and turned it on to HOT. That seems to have killed off enough of the heebie jeebies that I felt more comfortable putting them on my head.

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now they even look pretty

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I think it’s cute! definitely good for no poo hair!

I’m just a bundle of excitement lately!

Soon, we’ll be starting the seedlings, so there’s that pile of fun, worm bin stuff and I’m almost done with my recovery running (I’m at walk 5 minutes, run 25, walk 5) and hoping and crossing my fingers that I can do a 5k this year. Still no knee problems! Whoot!

Follow Up

Follow up with the doctor today about my knee. Seems fine, I’ve been running on it like a champ, slow but steady increases and not a lick of pain or even discomfort. Glad I can give him good news! After that, weather prevailing, I’m going to get some pictures to share with you a true Northern Illinois Snowstorm. We got 16″. No big deal.

xxxbmgw