We’re on Borrowed Time.


On Thursday evening, my old cat, Lucia,  made it quite obvious she was not feeling well. We’ve known for a quite awhile that her kidneys are slowing down. The next morning I called the vet like a forlorn ex girlfriend and rushed her in. He ran the usual battery of tests, but our initial concern was the fact that she smelled like infection. We were given clindamycin and sent home. The next morning, Lucia smelled much better and we received word from the vet that her kidneys are almost tired out. However, Lucia insists that she receive her quota and beyond of cuddles before she leaves this mortal coil. Our option is to make her comfortable by providing fluids, through an IV starting Tuesday. Since the infection seems to be clearing up and her attitude is much more lively, we are of course doing this. We’re on borrowed time, but we’re going to make the best of it. If you pray, I ask you please drop a note for a comfortable hospice for Lucia and for us, the wisdom to know when to let her go home.

She’s is currently glued to my lap (pretty typical for her, she loves her cuddles) and purring away.

Thank you, and I will keep you updated,


Quick Hi!

I promise I’m not gone! Just very, very, very busy! Hope to be back to hanging out with you all by next week!!!!


1. Dog dental problems (she’s ok! Just needed a whole lotta bad teeth out! Still eats like a cow!)
2. Fun with insurance companies! Thanks, Obama! (Do I have to hashtag sarcasm?)
3. A very gay wedding. (It was awesome! I wore a tux!)

Coming this week:

1. A straight wedding!
2. My brother’s birthday!
3. Possibly staring in a commercial…? Probably not due to not enough hours in a day…boooo!

So I’m stretched pretty darn thin here, people! See you as soon as I can!


Oh Greyhound, My Greyhound

So, aside from yesterday being absolutely crazy, I had the in-laws coming over and I had to work so my morning was cleaning, afternoon was work and then hanging out with the in-laws! It’s all fun and games until the greyhound, Angie, while zooming off after a tennis ball, suddenly stops, howls in agony and is carrying her leg up close to her.

*drops beer, runs after dog*

It was six pm, which is precisely when you are least likely to find an open vet. I scooped her up, she wouldn’t put weight on her leg. I fiddled, fondled, nothing broke that I could tell. I pinched, nothing…hmm…Unfortunately, as I said, it was either take her to the vet immediately or wait til morning. If it was morning, I would have given her an hour as I could see no external injury and feel no broken bones and could pinch her toes, leg, knee and move her hips with no complaint from her. Still she wouldn’t put weight on it. And then she put just a little.

“All right, who’s the most sober?” (fortunately one of us was!)

We called the emergency vet and got ready to take her in. Then she started bouncing around like normal, mostly, just a little limp. I decided it was worth the money to not wait til morning and just take her in. I’ve seen a dog break it’s leg and no one was the wiser until the next day at the vet. The owner felt awful, she thought the dog was just a little dazed. I wasn’t risking that with my little stinkhound!

So we got to the vet and Angie was acting quite herself, insisting on sniffing everything in the waiting room. I felt better, she wasn’t whimpering or carrying on anymore. We finally got to see the vet about a half hour later. She checked her over and pronounced:

Vet: “Ah, it’s her knee, I can pop out her knee cap, I just put it back in.”

Me: “Luxating patella?”

Vet: “Um, yes.”

WELL THEN MISS ITALIAN GREYHOUND OF STINK GLORY. You big faker, you. She’s had that since she was a puppy, very mild, her first visit they caught it, the next visit, they couldn’t find it. I assumed it had righted itself, the prior vet had told me that was possible. It explains a lot, I’ve seen her limp, just barely, on and off on that leg. I’ve kept my eye on it, but she runs around like a lunatic most of the time so the occasional boo-boo isn’t exactly rare. Or she’s buried under as many blankets as she can find and asleep. She’s a 2-speed greyhound.

I am quite relived that she is all right, though, I can tell you that. I was in totally freak out mode for a minute. By the way, as I write this, she is chasing the cat, Lucia, around the house. You go, Angie, get that bad kitty.


The First Step: Java Moss

When I lived by myself, I had two enormous black couches. One was black velvet and I had found it on the side of the road. A leg was broken off, but it was nothing some boards couldn’t fix. My other one was a pull out bed that had to be 50 years old. Huge, heavy and very tired. When my then fiance and now husband and I decided to move in together, the couches had to go. Unfortunately he had to work that day, so I had to call…my brother…

 wpid-2014-08-05-08.11.50.png.pngthe dream team up in here…

After begging, threats, insults and swear words, I finally convinced him. Well, I promised to make coffee. That worked. Now, whenever more than one Glaser is in a room, it turns into a “who can make the other person pee themselves laughing first?” competition. Have you tried carrying heavy objects while laughing hysterically? Moving furniture with my brother was obviously a terrible idea.  Also, the door layout of my apartment was a terrible idea. When the front door to the building was open, it blocked my apartment’s front door and the only way around this was dragging the couches up a half flight of stairs and shoving them back down. You can see why my brother was not terribly keen on this. When the logistics of this long fart of an adventure were figured out, we both started right in. Insults, a rainbow of curses, self depreciating jokes, threats, lamentations. We were both actually working together and almost done when…the couch wouldn’t fit through building door.

Did I mention it was really hot that day? My brother was half way up the stairs, I was fussing it out the door.

We threw our arms in the air, begged God for sweet death, cursed the couch, the door, the apartment, the stairs, each other.

And then I told him a new plan (turn the couch the other direction) and I laid it out to him.

“What do you think of the plan? Should we try it?”

He looked me dead in the eye and said “Well, the first step to failure is trying.”

I lost it. I howled for about 10 minutes and finally regained my composure, told that couch to GTFO and moved on with life.

wpid-20140804_172426.jpga few feet to the left and we would’ve gotten a new fence for free. WAY TO FAIL, TREE. WAY TO FAIL.

The phrase has have several different variations throughout the years, but at the core, it’s the same. Doesn’t matter how smart, clever, awesome, pretty, nice, whatever you are. You can’t fail if you don’t try. With that in mind, I always have a Plan A and a Plan Spectacular Failure of Plan A.


Plan A:

  • Insert java moss into tank.
  • Observe what happens.
  • Go from there

Plan Spectacular Failure of Plan A:

  • Set aside a clump of moss in a glass vessel
  • Leave in a sunny location.
  • Observe what happens.
  • Should Plan A turn into a the southbound end of a northbound cat, there will still be java moss to use when I get the problem sussed out.

wpid-20140804_123639.jpgjava moss hanging out at the factory

My darling husband purchased the moss for me and had the package sent to work. When it arrived I immediately thanked him profusely and got the moss into water. He told my I was easy to please. Well, he happens to be right. Buy me something green that grows and I’m pretty pleased. If we were all the same and had the same interests, we’d all be pretty boring.

I got home and followed my plan(s)

wpid-20140804_170842.jpgPlan A, with fish photobomb

wpid-20140804_170949.jpgPlan Spectacular Failure of Plan A, in a Big A** Beer Glass

And now we wait to see how much failure java moss I manage to accrue!

Shenanigan Sunday

Sunday was ridiculous, as usual. We went to breakfast with my dirty hippie NSA watchlist buddy and discusses our usual: reuse, reduce, recycle, make things and get weird. He makes candles and is doing a bang up job selling them. We stopped by at his house after breakfast, to continue complaining about the government (NSA: WHY DON’T YOU EVER CLICK “LIKE” ON MY BLOG? OR MY FACEBOOK STATUS? OR MY TWEETS? DON’T YOU THINK I’M PRETTY? CALL ME!) and I noticed he had some particularly interesting crates laying around. He offered me one, it’s a corn crate, we are in the middle of corn country. I like it, right now it’s outside, hanging with the outside things.

wpid-20140803_104051.jpgthe greyhound approves.

After that, I went to the local farm stand and bought everything:

wpid-20140803_103939.jpgnot pictured, 10# of sweet corn.

I got some local honey as well. I am dying to try the sauerkraut. Dying. Like, I might just get a spoon.

I also made another batch of cinnamon rolls for the people at the factory I work at. I like them a lot. They’re great people.

wpid-20140803_114241.jpgahoy! a fair sea of frosting!

Then we went off to the in laws and had lunch and then off to a barbeque! I had a busy Sunday! But it was a lot of fun!

I got my Java Moss today and I will be posting about it tomorrow, so stay tuned! :D

My Bamboo is Growing…Something…

I replanted a few of the house plant hoard members today, as I had ample time and sunshine. Everybody looks much happier and refreshed! Some of them were quite root bound.

Remember my unlucky bamboo? Well a while ago it grew a new stem. I thought it was a baby plant but um, it’s something…


If you zoom in, you can see it is full of seeds! They look like grass seeds, appropriate, because it is a grass.

What in the wide wide world of sports is going on here? (LINK IS NSFW from Blazing Saddles, probably the funniest movie [also NSFW] ever.) I’m not sure. I found a whole lot of nothing about seeds growing online. Hmmm, compelling. Strangely compelling. (NSFW, skip to 4:29 if you’re busy.)

I’ve got baby plants growing in my peace lily, two pups in the aloe vera and, one in what I think is a chinese evergreen. I’m not 100% sure because I took it as a cutting. We’re having a bumper crop of new plants this year! How exciting!

Ok, some SAFE FOR WORK for you for putting up with all that…

New Friends: Ghost Shrimp and a Marimo Moss Ball

I’ve been tossing around the idea of getting live plants in my aquarium for quite a while. It’s a little daunting, why mess with a good thing, right? But I found some live plant solutions that might just fit my needs.

I’ve ordered a batch of Java moss, which is essentially a weed. Unfortunately, none of the local pet huts carried the moss. The pros, for me, are that it readily grows, does not need a particular substrate and will over run your tank. Perfect! My plan is to let the moss overrun the bottom of the tank, almost like a carpet. Next, I am going to get some driftwood for it to adhere to and grow along that as decor. My rainbow rock and large pebbles will be kept moss free (damn, I have to clean them!) to provide contrast.

For today, step two of this project, I purchased some Ghost Shrimp. Ghost shrimp help groom the plants at eat leftover food/waste in the tank. With a whole carpet of moss, tank cleaning is going to have to be reworked. And who the heck doesn’t like Ghost Shrimp???

wpid-20140801_103156.jpgthey’re kind of adorable…

Back back back in the day when I worked at the petstore, we had a pet Ghost Shrimp named Hank. We had gotten a shipment of them and after they had all sold, Hank was left. We set up a little aquarium for him in the back room and it was Hank’s House. Yes, we were bored.

Hank had a beautiful life for an animal that is normally food.

Hopefully, my fish will leave the shrimp alone. I fed them when I stuck the shrimp in, so they don’t seem to be all that interested. Plus, the shrimp are pretty decent size and there are a lot of hiding spaces in my tank. Some of the shrimp have eggs, I believe they are called saddles, under them. Whoo hoo! Send in the babies!

Lastly, I also purchased a Marimo Moss ball. (DUH IT’S A PLANT AND I CAN HOARD IT!)

wpid-20140801_102828.jpgit’s fuzzy.

From what I gather, they are very hardy and continue to grow larger and larger. Also, you can propagate them. Part of my line of thought is to propagate these into smaller ones and then make little decorative aquariums, with just the balls. You can check some out online, they look amazing. I could use some jars, wine glasses, et cetera. I could even add a shrimp, PROVIDED THEY BREED SUCCESSFULLY DID YOU HEAR THAT SHRIMP??? Which I think would be super cute in a little vase. So, there’s that. More, hopefully in the future.

wpid-20140801_103339.jpg“I CLAIM THIS MOSS BALL FOR THE GHOST SHRIMP” -Hank and the Hankettes.

I will update when my java moss arrives! Whoo hoo!

The Stock Pile Begins

Well, apparently I am at the age when going to Costco to get a membership to start a stockpile is an excellent “date night.”

Cue the giant “L” on our foreheads. It stands for “LOL AREN’T WE COOL?”

Regardless of our standing in the cool kids club, we had been discussing starting a stock pile since, like forever. Like, since we started dating. We weren’t really sure where to start. I am a terrible stockpile kind of person, I am very strict about what I buy and I will not purchase food stuff that I don’t have a plan for using, in it’s entirety, within the week. I know, I know. This is coming from the person who hoards used water jugs, a cat food bag and rocks.

This took a bit of thinking. Obviously, we would need to keep the pile rotating, use old stuff, replace. It would need to be stuff we actually use. I didn’t want to end up with a bunch expired food I didn’t want to eat.

The ball really started rolling right before the wedding when I went with one of my buddies to Costco. I knew about wholesale stores but I thought they were very unpractical for me because (a.) remember, I lived completely by myself for years (b.) I didn’t realize the prices could be a lot better than what I was used to (c.) see above about the whole “use within the week” and lastly (d.) you have to pay to join. Since we were feeding 100 guests, I sent a shout out on my Facebook to see if anyone has a wholesale club card. The first person to reply was an old buddy of mine and he had Costco. This was right around when everyone (at least in America) was shouting about raising the minimum wage (no comment from me, sorry, no politics) and Costco was like, um, did that, k thanks. If you recall, I am trying to put my money where my mouth is and support places that aren’t jerks. Waaaaaaaaaaaallllllllfart. Ahem. Sorry about that. Don’t know where that came from.

So we went into Costco. We fiddled around, mostly I was price checking, taking notes and then I saw…50# of bread flour. My God. For under $15. And then I saw basmati rice. A huge bag. I think it was 15# for $13. I took both home immediately.

Flash forward. We started discussing actual, real things we could use in a stock pile. Stuff for making soap, flour, rice, beans, peanuts, olive oil all of that. I bought those particular items for the wedding food, and we still have leftovers, but are cranking through them at a decent pace. Suddenly, it seemed feasible. I can’t even begin to tell you how much we saved on wedding food, much less the leftovers. We have a deep freezer and we have a basement to store stuff. I bought some containers to long term store the flour and rice, et cetera. We started bouncing items back and forth that we would definitely want in bulk.

Cue our cute little date night, first we walked the entirety of the store, checked prices, and picked out things we would need. Some prices were not so great and some were awesome, so we took our time. We ended up buying birdseed (gotta feed my birdies!), frozen fruit, Jack Daniels (God help me), more peanuts, lots of beans, lady mattresses (think about it), tooth brushes, hand soap, Mexican Coke (as a treat, it has real sugar, not like American), dish soap, cinnamon, peppercorns, quinoa and a few other things. We spent quite a bit, but it is an investment, not a shopping spree. We will use all of these items in due time and they were considerably cheaper. It was really a lot of fun.

Our next step will be getting it organized. Right now, half is in the basement, half is in the garage and some is in the pantry. We’re going to tackle that either on a rainy day or in the winter, whichever comes first and we have time for. So, sorry there are no pictures! Like I said, it’s kind of all over! But, if the zombies come, we’re ready!

How to Blog Like BMary

In the grand tradition of my family, if you can’t make fun of yourself, you’re probably rather dull..


  1. Put on Ancient Aliens shirt
  2. Pick a moderately interesting topic
  3. Ramble incoherently
  4. Post a ridiculous amount of pictures
  5. Take some weird selfies
  6. Get weird
  7. Post completely useless links everywhere
  8. Add really nonsensical tags
  9. Hit publish button
  10. Cry hysterically and regret all life decisions until someone likes post
  11. Cheer wildly if someone likes post
  12. Tell everyone how cool you are if someone comments on post
  13. Put on sunglasses
  14. Repeat